begining of the end

and now it comes to the end. from the hustle of the final exam to the final procession after we sang the last uni's song and receiving the scroll from Pro-Chancellor. It was all time BIG exhausting event not to mention bored at the same time something that you shouldnt forget for. It been tiring, but it been great. Finally atlast we come to the place where everybody else before us has reached, and we were announced officially that we were GRADUATING. And now we are officially called ex-student of USM, and we no longer using present tense to describe our connection there, only past tense. I was there, I was with that club, I was staying there, it all has become the past tense. And now as we were joining the band of wagon with other graduate throughout the country looking for a job and build a career, it all has become a new path. Now without the walls protecting us, we were making our journey to the world that we never new been before, making our voice heard, and creating a place,name, perhaps even fame for ourself. It all has started now, and i should cut my slacking ass too. I guess it just another begining.

Torn???

it always hard to forget your love. Even harder if it is your first love. How can i choose my second love if i'm still think about my first. Who ever forget their first love. No one. And that is why it called the first. Some of it might be painful, but there got to be the first.

The road to the first love is hard. Hard enough, but i'm confident that i could have it. Or atleast i have a faith in it. The second love rather less troubled compare to the first, not to say it not hard, but still isnt complicated as the first one. My heart still occupy itself with the many it choices (that i have), but still it cant forget the first one. And that make it hard for me to choose the second.

Good dream gone bad

i know its so lame, but hey its so me. Man the only thing that awake me from my peaceful dream was my bad dream which is soooo (not lame ) i donno what word to described it. Behold, first i must stated that the definition of bad might varies from one to another, as in my case, it is when something good happen (in dream ofcourse) has gone bad. That all. At the first stage of dream it was nice (well i take it as a sign of a somewhat a brighter future??? hell so lame) has turn into mafia style fighting (oh too much movie). I know, i know, but isnt dream is the realm where our alter-ego (or however the spelling might be and correct me if im wrong) satisfied it or our (wink wink) dark deepest secret that been surpressed by..., hurm i forgot the medical term of it, by our ego (if not mistaken).

But then, it has made me realize, where part of the dream (well u can say it sort of slide show or movie) show few of my frens that i miss them a lot. However most of it comes from my anxiety of looking for job. Most of my friend already land themselves in o&g industry, which is what im looking for and what i really want. Some are still like me, waiting and looking. And some find their calling in other industry. Isnt it good if someone could predict the future so we could prepare for the worst of it. The not knowing part is the hardest part. But still i'm bounded by choices. And those choices are killing me. For every choices will lead to a different circumstances and need me to react differently and need to be solve differently. Some are easy, some are quite hard, and some are quite a longer ways. Should i take the road that less travelled??? Whichever it is i still dont know. For if i ask the people i'm familiar with, i'll keep getting the answer that i already knows.

btw dr paul, thanks for the wish. do continue wish me well eh... and i'm back. (^^)v

Jaded

whoa............................ its been awhile-and it been really long time since the last time i checked/update my blog. kinda miss it (good old times of blogging times whaha). Been busy with low-paid-slave-job at the moment and i'm jaded! anyway will be graduating this august (hope everything goes as planned-lah)

Yeah kinda tired, but i know since school day i've been living a unhealthy lifestyle (i.e: sleep very late-and ofcourse wake up late,junk food-gotta to keep fit back again)
Gotta change my bio-clock once again and grab back those beauty sleep!

Wish me luck for future job interview (and i havent prepare myself!)

Adios!

Oh crAp! Bridgie

So today lets write dear diary Bridget Jones wanna be style blogs. Oh wait i havent watch that movie yet, ok wat ever....

Dear bloggy,

today i have a bad day. oh wait define bad day... (Ok) today i go for interview for this one particular company (and i like this f****g company). Since I already describe it as a bad day so anyone can assume how the interview thingy going on lah. And attending the seminar(O&G-field related) after the so watever interview is like a torture. ok enuf. watever motivation console words can relief a broken heart like mine :-* , ~~~sigh~~~~ i just feel so down today. I could have done better, and yet it doesnt went quite well. It feel like u went for ur first date with this particular someone that u like (who-ever, where-eveer that person might be in this world or out of this world) and u got rejected or rather u felt rejected. So i'm kinda sorta sad and down rite now. wat more melancholic word(s) to describe the person who failed hopelessly infront the person that he like. ohkaay wat eva (longoria!!!!!!!!!!!!)

Boohoo! after all didnt i get pain in the ass lesson from any 1 day short coursee to prepare oneself for the interview?

Arg... sometimes ppl just screw up. But this one pain in the asshole big time screw up. okok its not like it the end of the world, it just it take times for us (i.e. me) to like sumone the way u like the other one rite just like before.

yeah yeah so watever am i'm crapping bout now.


ok then baby blogy, i'm gonna just throw up my tantrum to any of the lucky customer. Basha!!!!! Fighting!!!!

And that the end Bridggie Jonie wannabie blogs.

CRaP!! BiG TimeS!

Parting such a sweet sorrow....

Parting such a sweet sorrow. its been a while since the Nanzan student back to Japan. A few week ago, i would be busy hang out with them, introduce new food, new words, everythig new lah. Almost to sweet to comprehend by word. And as the stars shine at it brightest that morning (4.00am), and Gemini constelation can be seen clearly that nite and with me showing my friend Mariko where her zodiac (Gemini) is that morning. Well that was what happen few weeks ago. Ahh really miss them tho. I guess the other buddies missing them aswell. I'm sure bout that. Especially when we all went to Pusat Bahasa or just pass by or for what ever reason that bring us there, I'm sure that the past memories with all the Nanzan student at Pusat Bahasa will automatically played back in our head. And ofcourse that Monday morning as we all didnt sleep all nite long whether helping them packing up or just playing around with them or exchange sake; in our case (only me and my nanzan group:yuki, mariko & reiko + jacky +buma) stout beer. Kampaii nee. One for safe trip back home to Japan and another one for the cherished memory that will ever last forever.

As we go on with life, parting is inevitable. Whether it just for a short while or long time that we dont know when we would meet again, or whether it parting going to be as we approaching the end of semester, it seems that parting road already lies ahead of us. This evening, we organizing a farewell party to our Lecturer as he will joining the industry and opening his own consultan firm. Another parting event that take place today. Like an excerpt from one of my favourite books, Coral Island by RM Ballantyne, its a classic actually and it kinda long, it said:

"TO part is the lot of all mankind. The world is a scene of
constant leave-taking, and the hands that grasp in cordial greeting
to-day, are doomed ere long to unite for the last time, when the
quivering lips pronounce the word - "Farewell." It is a sad
thought, but should we on that account exclude it from our minds?
May not a lesson worth learning be gathered in the contemplation of
it? May it not, perchance, teach us to devote our thoughts more
frequently and attentively to that land where we meet, but part no
more?

How many do we part from in this world with a light "Good-bye,"
whom we never see again! Often do I think, in my meditations on
this subject, that if we realized more fully the shortness of the
fleeting intercourse that we have in this world with many of our
fellow-men, we would try more earnestly to do them good, to give
them a friendly smile, as it were, in passing (for the longest
intercourse on earth is little more than a passing word and
glance), and show that we have sympathy with them in the short
quick struggle of life, by our kindly words and looks and action."

That was my favourite part of this book.

Well i'm afraid we have to part again. No worries. we still be able to meet again.

Hisashiburi...... Japanese Rhapsody #2

So here I am,
Sitting here
Staring blindly
Or trying to find for some idea for my pain in the assignment
Which I suppose to finish last nite
But I went back early
Just because it 3.00 am in the morning
It kinda make me spooky
It make me feel very spooky
And the image of The Ring alike monsters keep appear in my head
Damn, why I imagined those thing…
So I got scared, called my friend and ask him to pick me up
Yeah, yeah I know I’m chicken
Damn supersticious!!!!!!
Hontoni kowaii!!!!


So here again I have to finish my pain in the assignment
Sort of tired
I wish I’m on my bed now
No… this time I didn’t imagine things
Somehow I just feel sad
Sort of very sad
Because I know after next week
Those Japanese student will go back home
And I’m sure I’m gonna miss them
Very much….
But I guess for I know I’ll just keep tomorrow problem for tomorrow
Today no tutorial with them
No more laughter during dinner with them
No longer see their weird expression each time we introduced new food to them
Yeah damn hell
I’m gonna miss them much
I think I’m not the only one
I’m sure bout that
I guess I still have one more week to spend with them
=)

Nihonggo no (日本の)Rhapsody

Its been awhile i didnt update my blogs. Things are getting more bussier than ever. I dunno whether i'll could get enough rest....but life goes on.

I receive a sms from my fren about this student buddy thing that i wanna join. Well lets jump to bottomline, she told me that the registration for student buddy close already. so i cant be one of the wat ever it is. so no jap guys/gals for me. (this student buddy thing will act as a friend and a tutor for the japanese transter student) Sad huhuhu (T.T)I'm so sad since im sort of really excited bout this. sob sob.

i just cant help from feeling very sad bout this. Furthermore my fetish (sound so hentai ne) for japanese thingy(& guy) had developed or rather blooming once again. And as the phone rang which i know who is that person anyway, walking helplessly sad to answer the phone just to get my ear deafen by the high tone of my boss son. Why do they give the phone to their son and let him scream to death to my ears. WTF.

"bla. bla. ok" As I'm trying to make the conversation shorts.

and with the endless pain in the ass-ignment and as a result of sitting infront of the pc for quite a long time, probably i have to wear spec soon and joining the 4 eyes freak club. No offence tho, just i dun want to wear specs or having a contact lens infront of my self-proclaim beautiful eyes.

I'll promise i'll eat more carrots.

Any Given Sunday

Ok here is it. The last day of the week , the last day of the month, and also the last day of the year. Leaving this day with a big bang, sound like a nice plan also. Its tripple celebration. Sunday Trinity hahaha. A perfect end for a not so perfect year.

So gotta make a new year resolution guys. Tripple new year resolution muahahahaha.

1. Get drunk

2.Get thrown out of da club (seriously)

3.Get laid (muahahahaha pervert!)

Okokokok. Just kidding with the list above. Time to get the ass seriously on something big dont cha think?

1. Graduate. Graduate. Graduate (pass the exam ofcourse)

2.Pass the interview with PGS or any oil related company (hopefully/after graduating ofcourse) <---- high ambition huh

3.Win more Dota ha ha ha.

Till then see ya next year!

world wide wait as they said

Yesterday being so left behind in the news, my English lecturer telling us that he read in the news, a recent earthquake in Taiwan has cause the undersea cable to broke and it is said it takes at least 2 weeks for them to repair it. And this cause the internet connection speed has slowed down. It is said that the internet connection in Taiwan and Japan had recover to a normal rate but South East Asian region still experience the slow internet connection tho they said the situation been improving. Well when i discuss bout the earthquake with two other my (straight) friend, all that they care "Is JerryC alright. Gotta check his website. Ha Ha." Duh >.< by the way JerryC is a talented Taiwanese composer (he is the one that compose the Canon rock version) not to mentioned he considerably goodlooking as well.
Damn really should read more newspaper these day ha ha.

Speaking bout English class, i have two-well u can say considerable hot-Finlish (how do you call someone from Finland anyway) guy in my class. And the red-haired girl wasn't that bad looking. My first time seeing someone that naturally red head. I mean those that i have seen are fake (coloured), and this one are real. Authentic. You know what i mean. Well there always first time for everything rite.

The Vamp, The Straight, The School, The Huddled

how fast thing can change unexpectedly. i always told myself to expect the unexpected. tho i still manage to escape from getting hurt to much, but still you can feel the pain.

Last night, after moving two of my boxes only to find that my Harry Potter and Dan Brown book were stolen.Anger, frustration, grieve all mixed into one making me more exhausted than ever. My biological clock ticking faster than before, turning myself into a vampire again, unfinished assignment, the busiest semester i ever had, tho some paper that i took dont have final means 100% course work, but it still make me tired. As i sit next to my friend last night after finish moving my boxes, suddenly i said " I think i gonna quit being a gay!" And he say "what?" Surprised. Though i shall not resist guy like Wang Lee Hom or Drew Fuller for god sake, other than that, it take more effort to make me become gay again. Oh not to forget that super eye candilicous. Plus there was this girl that i found yesterday and she remind me of that Song hye-gyo girl (of Full House and Autumn in my heart) with a Brasilian tanned style skin. Gosh.... Love at first sight? hell no ha ha.... But she definitely gorgeous. Plus i really not in the mood for festive season this year. And my (straight) friend asking me to go clubbing this Christmas. Probably will go for the "Green fairies" . Still two days more for Christmas, i still went around and saying "OMG it Christmas already. I didnt realize it!" The truth is i really didnt realize it. Probably I'm just tired and lonely. Ah I cant believe I'm feel like this. Vulnerable when I think I'm strong. Lonely when i have a lot of people around me. Tired even after i get 8 hours of sleep. Straight when I feel so gay. Wrong when I feel I'm right.

Tired...
Event of motionless...

*********

Love probably didnt come in a box.



but surely one can find it at door step.



Merry Christmas everyone.

A busy start

Its been awhile i didnt update my blog and look like there is something wrong my chatterbox. Too busy tho to fix it. i guess it already serve it purpose and it time for it to be remove ha ha. And ofcourse i didnt forget bout my senior JL, just how to contact you? LOL. I have few of graduated friend ofcourse.

Today is the first day of the semester, and the first class of the day is already canceled.Is this is a good thing or what. Anyhow it gonna be a damn busy semester. Few of my coleague are quiting their job already, hmm i wonder why it something bad always happen when something good is on the run. I mean i'm gonna miss my coleague la. Anyway as the school start i guess i not gonna think much about it. Furthermore its going to be a busy semester indeed. But surely this will happen he he...



p/s: a picture of my junior. He is cute isnt he? hehe

Open out/Black out Day

I really need a break. This even more tiring than the KL trip last week. I thought today gonna be my open day, as in telling my colleague who am i really am. I know i know why the sudden rush or should i just keep the secret. But i think last night he really knew about it, but still he keep it quite and act as everything is normal, which i am very grateful for that. But still it the second time he, err how to put it... catch me? But the word catch wasnt appropriate for this kind of situation, hmm really cant think of a suitable word which indicate i need a proper rest and need to study my English more hu hu (T.T). But as i planned to tell it today, another thing happen. It did cause some sort of disturbance in our normal routine day, black out! So we have to close for awhile tho, but still there are a little incident behind the scene sigh, but because of that everything turn up side down. Not literally, so it really such a crap. Looks like i have to find another proper time to tell him. Sigh.....


KL Dawn

Another thing when i check my blog today, honestly I'm surprised when i saw the comment leave by JL. Hmm another surprise!!! And he describe the whole event accurately, the booth, the event, the deco. Whoah, lucky no heart attack. I turn that i found another of his comment on Dr. Paul's blog. Hmm Straight guy dont read his blog rite, and as far i'm concern, only "partner in rainbow crime" read this crap blog hehe. So JL (Jason Lo, ohh or Jennifer Lopez hehe, or Jennifer Love) no offence just kidding, hehe. Not as a participant, probably speaker for presentation, LOL or i might even walk past him without me or he himself notice it or probably he is one of the people i speak with at the booth.Come to think of it, I didnt visit much booth thou i manage to get quite a number of name card ha ha. CGG, Schlumberger,Petronas, Veritas,most of the big name that I've ever heard are not on my list of booth that i visited.Just went to the less heard company one. I.e Talisman (that remind me of Dota ofcourse), PGS, Fugro, etc etc. Hey i got talisman umbrella, for being the first visitor hehe. But whoever is he, he is my sempai, and i should give a full respect to my sempai. Who knows he might be the one who interview me ha ha. Such a small world. Oh if u reading this i'm fine thank you.

I'm back...

The trip to kl was tiring and i didnt expect the Geo-conference turn to be that great.Well been thinking a lot before went to the conference and all, i guess i worried too much even before the thing has happen. I think its a good platform for student to get close to the industry and to get to know their future employee, and since we located so far in the northern part of this country it is a chance that any student shouldn't let go.

The conference indeed is fun, and it turn to be more than i expected. Ofcourse there were talk and booth of various company for us to visit, but i thought it would be 80% old geezers talking bout this and that.(One of our lecturer paper was presented on the 1st day.) I guess i'm wrong then, the conference was full of young people and not to mention some of them are hot indeed.Some of them are really hunk and i couldn't believe it, to think that there is hot G in the industry ha ha. By the way G is initial for those who work in the industry such as D for Doctor, E for Engineer. Ha ha i think if the conference were to be held longer, i think my eye would be "rosak" already. There are consider a lot of eye candy, not to mention some of them are in HR department, so i guess it an important task to woo-ing them haha. Just kidding...

What make the the whole conference thing more better is the presence of a very enjoyable friend to hang out with. It would be a boring event if it wasnt because of that particular person(him ofcourse). I must admit being a super senior wasn't fun at all, but the sporting junior has made it all more merrier. Well ofcourse we have to be friendly in the first place ha ha. Oh by the way, as i expected there is people been talking abut me. I wanna say bad-mouth-ing or kutuk me but it were quite true aswell. I admit that i've been a bit of lalai or being a bit irresponsible in my task as the V.P of this particular club, but hell i dun care that much, probably i shouldnt put it on my resume but i think i've got a bad impression from certain lecturer. Argh!!!! Anyway i still got one more semester to prove that they are wrong and kick their ass. Can i? (My confidence a bit shattered)

Anyway i managed to buy the book that i've been lookin for. Just read a few chapter and i glad that i bought the book. Will talk bout it again once i finish read the book. (however the book quite thin? so i think i'll finish it in short time)

Ahh so tired, and feel a bit sleepy. I guess i stop here tho. Alfie-chan thanks for accompany me hehe. Really enjoy it. alfie-chan ありがとう!!

"Fuck nice..." (2nd)

I got headache now and the panadols that i've taken doesnt help either. Too many things on my mind. The ass-signment, trip to KL this Sunday, err what else..? Hurm hurm....i dont know; certainly a lots of thing in my mind at the moment and it seems I can't think straight. Hell yeah did i forget that i'm gay? LOL. The trip to kl doesnt seem to excite me, well there are nothing much to excite about honestly, just a conference where we can meet our future employer; which make me wonder how soon can i join this forces of evil err... workforce i mean. And i doubt i will have fun either. Well dont want to be so skeptic about all of this but hey it just can't be helped. (And i dont know what im ranting about honestly) I really should get my ass (or dick) a life! But until that time to come i'll sit here in the dark(exaggerating) alone and wait for that time to come and say "Fuck nice..."

"Fuck nice...."- Debbie Grassi

Well for those who been watching QAF or big fan of it, they perhaps familiar with this quote by Debbie Grassi. Well she say this on one of her finest moment (as told by friend and i dont remember which scene). What i'm trying to say here is ever since i finish my exam, about a week ago; 5 days to be exact, i been like sort of lost or rather empty.I know, I know, i should be in celebration mood right now, but it just that i feel it just not right or something has lost and i need to fine what ever it is to make me feel complete. Love? Oh please, it is not bout that, it is something else. Purpose or perhaps it is because I been surrounded by graduated people looking for job. Well me myself suppose to join that big band of job seeker myself, but since i havent fullfill and have to repeat some bloody-susah-nak-mampus paper,I guess I have to past that moment and I have one more semester to go! I hope. On the other hand I do feel that i'm not ready. Urgh!! I really hate those feeling. I hate school! I hate exam! Damn such pain in the ass. And i cant wait for the moment where I'm gonna say "Fuck nice...".

By the way, I've hit the lowest of all time testosterone! And really no mood for sex.
I should get a life!Damn i hate "it" when it happen to me! Anyway i dont know how to define IT here.....Anyone got any idea?

The "Un-" series

I woke this afternoon, once again unmotivated, planning to go to library but i'm so lazy to move my ass. And the un-xxx week for me especially after my remote sensing paper. Un-motivated(ofcourse),un-well(luckyly i didnt fell sick),un-gay(urgh please come my SUPER GORGEOUS EYE CANDY customer),and un-enthusiastic, almost for everything(blogs,mail,chat,irc,etc). Argh where had the b***h (muse) gone? Exam sure makes people go crazy! Still one more paper to go.And for the past 3 days i've been doing nothing but more gaming.sigh. And when i arrive in work place i found someone installed RO in one of the pc!!!!!Damn! feel like wanna play again after quiting RO long time ago.
On my way, i could see the water vapor evaporating to the cloud above it, probably from the sea or it just merely lower cloud's particle, moving upward and creating a larger forgot what name cloud. It going to rain and it wont be just a shower.i could hear the sound of thunder. and i hate it. Guys are likely 4 times higher to struck by a lightning compare to gals. And since most students finish their exam already, leaving uni like a ghost town. Not many people around, and even if there people around they must be siting infront of their study table, reading, memorising formula, deriving equations etc. etc. I wish i could pick up their brain and i wont have much trouble doing my exam. Probably if i could perform the "mind transfer jutsu" (Naruto influence) to one of the brainy student, it would be great muahaha!

Argh such a pain in the ass!

"Spell of Schizo"

i did the unthinkable. went dota day before my exam where i should put my effort on studying. and what more crazy was, i searchin for a spell (think of Charmed or Harry Potter i u had to)and eventually i did found one. A spell that to make u pass the exam and a spell that boost up ur confident level. But i modified a bit and make it more ryhme, atleast to what i can think for suit the first line.
muahahaha. i think the door of tg rambutan open wide for me hahaha

One

The will is strong, but my flesh begging for more weekend off. I guess working during holiday kinda make me exhausted, both physically and mentally. not to mention an event that change your life forever. Infact every event that happen change our life. Which directions we are going to take nexts. It's been 3 weeks since the fatefull morning i might say, and life would be much different if it does not happen.

Yeah, every single things that happens in our life (my life actually) wether getting a cute greeting sms or e-mail from the very best old friend (smiled), meeting new people, a 'fight' with customer (believe me i'm such a pain-in-the-ass cashier-boy muahaha) or even the song that touched your heart or an anime that really make u laugh for the whole day, it really give an effect to our daily life wether we notice it or not. Ok i might my say my mood a bit mellow (morelikely a mixed between sorrow and joy), but when a SUPER GORGEOUS customer enter just now, with that blur innoncent looking of him looking for a person in charge -me-since i didnt sit at the front desk- i say to myself:"God please make me gay again"



It doesnt take an Einstein's brain to guess what he wanted which i hope more than a printing service *evil smile*. Purposely taking the thumb-drive with my palm so my hand can touches his hand-same trick when i hand over the thumb drive again-and re do the setting of the printer so he can stay next to me longer-all it takes to enjoy short moment with him. And when he ask for the price, instead of saying kiss me and you'll get it f-o-c.i said "20cent" and give him that puppy eye and cutey smile to him. Watching him went out to the door before he disappear from my sight, i told myself this is kind of guy that i would like to fall in love at first sight (lost my word here). It such a sweet feeling, and it takes only one person to do so.

There are 6 billion people in this world. 6 billion souls. And sometimes, only 1 person that would change our life completely.

When It Falls Apart....

"Tell (me) what do you do when it all falls apart
Gotta pick myself up, where do I start
Cause I can't turn to you when it all falls apart"

dunno where it all starts
and i believe in your words
i think to myself, am i a fool?

when it rain it pours
i'm confuse, issit a blessing or is it crying on behalf of me?
Tell (me) what do you do when it all falls apart...