Thursday, May 28, 2009

Me and many ramblings

1. Me and coldness

Damn, the coldness really kill me with despair. I think thats is why people appreciate the warmth for they have been in coldness before. Warmth sometimes lead to annoying heat, but rage and anger definitely more lively. Despair and sadness literally suck the life out of you.

2.Me and home

I guess I'm pretty much engulf with other matters that I almost forgot that I'm going home tomorrow. Yay! Although I'm still not excited about tomorrow travel and I know the background music that suppose to play right now are either Home by Daughtry or Home by Buble. But ever since I heard this Indonesian song "Aku dan Diri Mu" I pretty much cant take it out of my head.Perhaps... because there are a lots of things left unsaid.

3.Me and conclusion

I guess in the end things sometimes doesnt goes out the way we expect it. Sometimes fate on your side, other times, well you pretty mess up. Either way you got to trust whatever suppose to happen will happen. Somehow you’ll always end up with the person you’re mean to be with.

Me and love reflection/Me and my fault

At the moment, I'm struck with one big epiphanies. All the great love stories, they just doesn't begin immediately. They takes times to develop, they faces many hardship, conquered it and won it. Well from there its another story of happily ever after or whatnot. So whats up with me, trying too much to jump so fast into that loveship. Probably thats is where I have done my mistake is. I guess everything has it own times, has it own rhythm and the moment we try to take control or push it, even the slightest movement could ever change the original course it was set to be. Although I like to call myself as an adventurer, merely trusting the feeling and lets the heart take the risk, and even if the risk is worth taking, perhaps part of being a good adventurer is choosing wisely which adventure that is worth taking.

I guess when you're were engulf with that demonic passion (just exaggerating there), I think it best to cool everything down. Or perhaps its time to move on and looking for another adventure. I guess I'll just cool everything off first.

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Me and conversation

Perhaps it was the most honest conversation i ever had in a long time.

But I always hate a hanging ending. The mental torture that you get for guessing the answer really kills you. Anticipating is really more painful than the simple truth. Oh trust me, for the truth set us free!

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Me & Mistake. Again.

You see, some mistake are guilty pleasures. Like you know you're are not allowed to have ice-cream when you're sick but you still do or you have an affair with someone even though you're know you're in a relationship. As for me i make one of many of those mistake. Well in my case its not the sex matter.Perhaps its a little bit involving those wild fantasy.

Two days ago I went for hair cut, and my mistake was not doing it with my regular hair dresser. So I went to this new place instead, a decent well decorated and professional like place, but i guess I was wrong. The moment she cut my hair I felt something terribly wrong, but its not like you to bail out in the middle of the hair cutting process with your hair is half-cutted. Yes the hair-dresser is a girl while the place I usually go to is a guy and he is gay too. How do I know...? Well lets say I just know because I found his profile in gay dating website. Hes a bottom too. Anyway when she cut it like i said it was totally wrong. I know it, but here's the guilty pleasure part. When she asked me whether I would like to get a massage, I said "Hell yes. Give it to me baby!" Ok not exactly like that. But man she got the golden touched, and nooooo I did not just cummed in my short. She really know how to work her hand which make me think "have she worked in a massage parlour before?". At that time all my doubt flown away along with the massage that she give. Damn, so does my wallet getting thinner because of it. But as everything come back to reality, realizing that hair-do make me so bitterly ugly, I swore to myself I wont come back unless I need a good massage. Girl you suck as a hair-dresser but you give damn good massage.

Me & Bummers

1. Talking about disappointment, I woke late for three consecutive morning. Damn it, even though I have more than enough sleep, but still couldn't wake up early in the morning, and I couldn't hear my alarm. Fuck. So when your morning basically a mess, it practically put you in a bad mood and ruin your day.

2. As the tv season come to an end, there are quite bummer around. I won't talking about the not returning show (thanks god Chuck is renewed, and Supernatural have a good prospect, so I doubt the show will be canceled. Touch wood! Touch wood!) As the winner of American Idol and ANTM is revealed, it doesn't bring the good news. I know I'm late on this, but still... Adam & Alison were both landed second place and they both my favourite contestant. Well lets say I've been rooting for both of them since audition, as I know they both are something something. One with fierce personality and another has fierce big eyes. Both are captivating. Damn TyranouSOURus and American Idol voters.

3. The third bummer... is such a biggest disappointment. Like the "apple pie" told me once upon a time a dinosaur roams this planet earth, "if you fall for someone try not to fall to hard, the harder you fall, the more hurt its gonna get." Something like that. Kinda. I wish everything was easy and the hardest part is not finding the one that matter, but to keep on the same page as that one person is. Damn it I really don't know what to do. Perhaps...something that good to boost up my self-esteem, like lucky streak winning ticket to a million of dollar or perhaps a hook up with someone who like you or adores you. After all sex make people feels good and put you in a good mood.

yeah just the way i like it...

Saturday, May 23, 2009

Me and Sex Drive, Coffee at Borders

1.Lately I've on such a low sex-drive, whether its a mistake or simply hook up,the good think about sex is it always put you in a good mood. I couldn't think of any reason why i'm so low on the drive, well perhaps i could come with one or two, but i wont saying.

2.This evening, I went out with a friend of mine, since she's been asking me so long to meet. Well i know really well what is the purpose of this meeting, however lets just skip to the time when we about to go back. Well on the way to the car, suddenly an airplane fly over us-well not exactly suddenly as in suddenly a pilot decide to fly an airplane out of the blue sky- ok the point is, the moment the aircraft fly over us and me turning my head to look towards the plane as it fly by, I was captivated by the sound of its engine. I dont know why but I feel it is the most beautiful sound in the world.And I really enjoy that moment. Me listening to that beautiful engine sound. Ok I'll confess I also love the sound of a muscle car such as Mustang, The Chevy that Winchester Brother drive in their demon hunt (btw theres gonna be season 5, yes love it) or 4WD (ok its not exactly a muscle car but still it sound good).

3.Well back to the meeting with my friend-she actually want me to take her place once she leave the "seat". The problem is, well I'm kinda into a more glamorous job or well lets say not so heavenly work related since this the "seat" job is directly related to the church. As I'm telling her that faith wise I'm probably not the best person but she told me to let the whole faith thing to the priest. Or the word she said is that me shouldn't worry about the faith issue as I could consult the priest for help. But heck if I'm doing this it would be like an oxymoronic thingy. Cliche of all cliche. Lets face it, although I'm not out and loud, but still I'm kinda perfectly comfortable with my sexuality and to work with the people who.....well their faith kinda opposing this side of heaven,though I always preach my student that who would Jesus side with if He were alive. As Tyranousaurus said it Gay is the new black y'all.

That not the only part of why I'm a bit reluctant to the "seat", well maybe because that I'm planning to apply for the cabin crew job. Its not that I haven't apply ,I even almost freaking god dammit got the job. I didn't got the job because the interviewer lady said that i'm overweight.(Btw i still remember her name perfectly) C'mon lady. Give me some slack. I'll exercise and lose weight. To my comfort a few people that I make friend with during the interview also didn't get it, and well we still friend now. The hunkiest sikh-ish looking guy that I've drool about also didn't get the job. Well he is 27 and hes hot. Ok perhaps I want to apply for it again despite the disappointment that I have; for not getting it. Anyway one of many reason that I wanted to apply for this kind of job just because well you know you could get free ticket and travel to foreign country of which another thing (travel) that I love but have to put on hold due to finacial constraint. Speaking about travel the other job also require me to travel rather alot too.

Hmm what next steps gonna be, and if someone tell me that God has a plan, I'll might just perhaps killing the next person come to me.

Friday, May 22, 2009

Me and mistake

I believe in karma, and just like life, karma can be a bitch too. As my friend said in his Facebook; wonders how life should be? Smooth & straight like y=mx+c? Or bumpy once a while like ax^2+bx+c=0? Or enjoying your lowest moment before getting the ultimate goal like y=log(x)? Or swinging all the time like y=sin(x)? Or with no ultimate goal to achieve like y=tan(x)?

And the payback always, well hard. Its hard to face the hard truth about yourself. Thinking back the choices that you made in the past and thinking it was might be a mistake. It even harder when you took the chances, and fail. I guess the right thing to do right now is taking the positive steps and suck it up and face the world-while i’m still not whining about it.