Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Random thought

yes i read perez

Ok i might be Catholic but I dont have to agree with the pope! Yes the pope! He currently issueing that man need to be saved from gays!

Borrowing the words of my favourite author, Paulo Coelho; "...this new pope is a disaster, to put it plainly....we'll survive this pope."

Horrible is the new adorable

Just as i found bitter is the new sweet, it doesnt sound strange if i say that horrible is the new adorable. And kim dong wan is the new william hung.

damn santa stole my present. but atleast i got this utterly adorable video for christmas.

Monday, December 22, 2008

This One Santa I want for Christmas!

Christmas is definitely 3 days away. Somehow it doesnt really excite me this year. Totally not in the mood for christmas. How I wish this hunky Santa would came and deliver present on Christmas' Eve itself (and stay overnite) haha.

People here must be lucky.

Wednesday, December 17, 2008


"disco disco good good"


1. i'm dead bored. sometimes i felt like i'm a walking zombie. blame it on the moon too. felt unmotivated, unspirited, energyless. its not like moody pms tho, it like a constant moodless period over time. got nothing to do either. friendster sucks, facebook does not amuse me either.

it make heroes seem uninteresting (not to mention this gotta be the suckiest heroes season ever). not to mention the seem lost prison break over their syclla. spring cleaning doesnt help either. randomly i just delete people that i didnt know in my friend list-both friendster and facebook.

2. At night I couldnt help but eavesdropping two daddies swaping spit i mean stories about their own breed-unintentionally since they are infront of me. The two daddies pretty much ok in term of look-not that hideous nor that hot DILF, but i would pretty say acceptable. Not everyone are Brad Pittlicous.

Daddy A: Sometimes I really pity my second child. Why not, coz he seems to get his brother left over.

Daddy B: Yeah me too. The situation is the same. I still remember about my 1st born son. When he came (to this world literally), he was lavished with all the goodness. His grandfather spend a fortune for him.

Daddy A nodded his head. " Yeah. But then come the second one everything seems to cool down. They just get his big bro left over.

Daddy B: It always like that. My 3rd child also receive the same treatment. It like up and down.

After paying for what it seems like items for their kids they left the counter and heading out of the mall till they gone out of sight.

I dont know which is sexier, two daddies shopping together or the fact that they are shopping together.

3.On different notes, i see a lots of break-up around... but that is another day.

Tuesday, December 09, 2008

boys, beers and balls

boys notes:
hmm i was wondering wats better than sittin with your friend watching football match. well probably a good sex or driving insanely fast sports car.

beer notes:
suddenly my housemate said "hey lets drink beer."

"good idea" said another. "dont forget mine is carlsberg special brew ya" add another.

and i was wondering what was the occasion, but it seems to be none. what the heck! anyway one doesnt need the reason to drink dont they....

balls notes:
a bottle of beer, and a football match. its double kill combination for some. and we watch 20 balls chasing one ball while another two balls trying their best to catch the one ball. confuse? dont be.

that nite we watch Arsenal 1-0 victory over Wigan. And my Arsenal fanatic friends smile all the way to his bed.

Saturday, December 06, 2008

All i want for christmas....

yup its the real brokeback mountain to turn back time.

everytime when someone ask me what did i study back in university, i've always told them that i was from physics school. i rather not tell them that i'm a geophysics graduate who still unemployed by oil and gas company. and the geophysics word would raise the eyebrows of many. it is a strange word for some. some even thought that "oh that is that sort of geography+physics thingy where when u graduate u will teach either geography or physics isnt it?" err...that made mw speechless, not until i explained to them its actually from the word geology+physics hence became geophysics, even so i have to tell them it is an earth science course. then followed by the long "ooooo...".

back then i really had the vague idea of what this course would offer-except for the fact that this discipline would lead one directly to oil and gas industry. i never thought that i would get this course as senior back then often told you that your 1st choice of UPU form would not be the course that u would took for the rest of your university life. so i design that the geology course that i want, i put it in the middle of the list of my UPU form. well who knows, such strategy would lead me to penang instead of to kl-due to the course of course.after nearly flop the 1st year, which lead me to extend the study-few times i wanna change my course but i stick to geophysics till the end.

for those who doesnt know, geophysics is a study of geology with lots of mathematical concepts. The word geophysics itself is derived from a combination of two words geology and physics. lots of lots of mathematical concept. the geology is there, but it come with mathematical concept and understanding. thus your final year paper would likely to consist of lots of lots of equation rather than 3 pages long essay. ok i admit, the 3 pages long essay would help too. its neither easy or hard course. as my senior once told me, this is a do or die course. nothing in between. unfortunately i had to agree with him at some point.

as we gonna celebrate the coming year with rather gloomy expression and the job market rather look grim especially with the down falling of the oil price(something that me myself predicted)and lots of company, oil and gas included freeze their employment-jeez thanks grinch for stealing the early christmas feeling-left one rather wondering. or me wondering how would the year of 2009 would look like. at some point, i sometimes wishing that i put geology course on top of my UPU list instead of this unknown mathematically infested geophysics course...

Thursday, December 04, 2008

Random thought

but now i'm sad and alone. i'm going to become bitter and distrustfull of people because one person betrayed me. i'm going to hate those who have found their treasures because i never found mine and i'm going to hold on to what little i have, because i'm too insignificant to conquer the world.

.........and so the alchemist said.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008


i dont know how to begin, it all over know. it's kinda confusing mixed feeling that i have. well i just broke up, and i should be sad right... well yeah i was, but i guess i'm kinda sorta missin him a little. good thing that we broke up the good way, we came to conclusion that it better to resolve it now before everything got more complicated later.

so i guess a little bit of laughter would do a great magic. and i found this funny joke from my friend buletin. here goes:

Death Row in Women's Prison

Three women are about to be executed. One''s a brunette, one''s a redhead, and one''s a blonde. The guard brings the brunette forward and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready! Aim!"

Suddenly the brunette yells, "EARTHQUAKE!!!"

Everyone is startled and throws themselves on the ground while she escapes.

The guard brings the redhead forward and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She say no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready! Aim!"

Suddenly the redhead yells, "TORNADO!!!"

Everyone is startled and looks around for cover while she escapes.

By now the blonde has it all figured out. The guard brings her forward and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready! Aim!"

And the blonde yells, "FIRE!!!"

Friday, November 14, 2008


i stumbled upon this very interesting video clip of latest boyzone single "better". The video featured all members with their love interest- and that including Stephen - the openly gay member of bz. feel like yesterday when he first announced his sexual orientation.

i remembered someone wedding vow, "for better or worse, i stand by you"... the song remind me of that vow. ;)

Monday, November 03, 2008

Multiple choices

Man i forgot how long since the last time I blog. It like almost 6 months. And that last entry was written out of nowhere about what?? I don't know...., some lovey dovey crap. And at that time I was in transition between job. And it is the same for this entry, in between of something....I hate this feeling. Well it kinda unexplainable, but I definitely hate it. And when I look back my high school friend who made it to their career, that feeling sucks. I guess its the ego things and I really thought I would be happy for them but the truth is I wasn't. How I wish they fuck off the hey-i-got-a-better job than yours. Okay, probably they didn't think like that.

Sometimes I regret the choices I made in the past. Like the course that I took, the university that I choose, and many more. Stick to science what-ever or take law or something or even accounting or engineering. I was wondering what if I taken another road. And Robert Frost poem keep popping up itself into my brain, and yeah I made an entry bout that. I guess the hardest thing is not making the right choices, but living with that choices. And its especially hard when you think that choice isn't the right one. And the only thing that I'm good at is being gay.

i think i'm good at being one

Sunday, May 18, 2008

Northern Star

...and I've found my guiding star.

always there but out of reach,
guiding with warm love at distant,
but radiate coldness of the nocturnal night,
but I'm lucky,
for I would be lost without you.

Wednesday, May 07, 2008


For I've waited for eternity

1.What is the best nickname that u ever had?
A: Teddy bear

2. Do you think suicide is the best way?
A: Noppers. thats the dumbest ever

3. Rate your social life from scale 1 to 10.
A: 9 i think minus the fact that i dont fancy spending time with people i dislike but since i didnt spend my time with them at all now i think i shud put it at 10

4. Are you in love with someone at the moment?
A: Can u really tell??? xD i didnt know it was THAT obvious.

5. are you missing someone at the moment?
A: I am.but try not to think to much about it

6. Would you die for the one you love?
A: I just dont know it yet.

7. Do you think love hurts?
A: Love isnt love until it hurts. Absolutely.

8. Whats the best thing about love at first sight?
A: (I love this question) U realise at that moment that you like a person.

9. Whats the worst thing about love?
A: To love but not to love in return...

10. Will you wait for someone you love?
A: for eternity ;)

11 . What song best describes your love life at this second?
A: Since I'm already screwed, here a message for you,my heart wide open..... figure it out.

14. Have you talked to the person you love on the phone?
A: Not yet at that stage, but in the past ofcourse

15. Do you keep memories or try to forget them?
A: The way u make me feel-Steps (people will remember how u make they feel. so treat people nicely asshole)

16. Is love always on your side or the opposite way?
A: Hurm, that depends and i can't really say that the Lady Luck isnt smiling at me currently, but i guess it never hurt to be on the safe side (Arghh Lady Luck pls date me!!!! pls pls)

19. Are you sick of love?
A: Never will be :)~

20. Are you sick of questions on love?
A: not really. Love love love love? hahaha Love is an interesting subject.

21. Where are you going tomorrow?
A: No where.

22. What do u want so badly right now?
A: Do I really have to say it? (shy)

23. Do you think money is everything?
A: Love is everything, but we do need money too rite..

24. What song are you listening right now?
A: Maroon 5-Wont go home without u

25. Whats the song, you last sang?
A: with you-chris charlie brown

26 . How much do you love music?
A: Very much. Music make my day

27. Do you play an instrument?
A: recorder (LOL)

28. Have you written your own song?
A: Never

29. What movie did you last watch?
A: definitely maybe. (best romantic comedy so far and definitely gonna watch it for the 2nd time)

31. Do you believe in forever?
A: no because i believe in eternity (for eternity is far more serious than forever)

Sunday, May 04, 2008

I'm screwed

I've chatted with my friend in msn and it end like this:

"You too, which ever guy that got you must be so lucky"

I was telling him that his bf is so lucky to have him in his life, and no I dont have whatever love-hate tension dynamic feeling towards him, it more towards a platonic level kinda-relationship.

His remarks remind me of a reply from the "apple-pie" that-i-would-love-to-have
(i was G-chatting over gmail and sms-ing with him the whole nite last nite) and i got a very interesting reply from him "Its interesting what has began as sex proposition led to."

Ofcourse I modified the sms a bit. And I think Paris Hilton-Screwed lyric tells it all:

Since I'm already screwed
Here's a message to you
My heart's wide open
I'm just not getting through to the lover in you
Yet I'm still hoping
That tonight, tonight, you're gonna turn down the lights
And give me a little more room just to prove it to you
What do I gotta do?

By the way, I found this hot MTV

Could anything be hotter than this music video?

Saturday, May 03, 2008

Apple Pie that I wanna eat!

Oooh now-a-days, i really love apple pie. My friend ask me few days ago asking me whether I love to eat pie or not, and i answer "NO". But now i really loves that apple pie that i wanna eat. *Munch munch*

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

The road less traveled

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference

The road less traveled can be unpredictable. As much as I hate the fact that it probably gonna full of bump or not, i also know the fact that life should be more colourful. However I don't want it to be in this colour but other colour. Sometimes I wondering if I were at the other road, would it be different? Somebody close to me told me that it is our choice to be happy, but how can you chose your emotion if something bad struck you and you chose to be otherwise. Is it as simple as pressing the change button or what? I absolutely oppose his idea but I cant denied the truth in it or simply i refuse to accept it.

Monday, March 17, 2008

Go Green...its St. Patrick's Day

Happy St. Patrick's Day to all proud men!

Friday, March 14, 2008

Happy Birthday

A year older, still not yet a year wiser. Well what can i say still crappy and hate it very much. Still remember as the day to my birthday approaching, i felt very down and sad. Yes i do cry, when I watch Heather of ANTM 9 voted out or perhaps i use it as a reason for me to shed the tears. Gosh felt so hopeless. And sometime i felt like just wanna to let go... (Jesus take the wheel~~~)

Anyway today I got a lots of wishes messages and sms-es. To my surprise my mom sms me happy birthday (she wasn't that techno advanced mommy) and I'm touched by her message. It simple message but perhaps, it is just what i need the most.

Thanks all for your wishes, my friends. I appreciate it.

Happy birtday to me!

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Something to ponder for the upcoming election

I read this article in the Star last Saturday. The writer was right when he said that Malaysian are less politicised.

Time to bring sexy back


Thais perceive our general election as less exciting and less sexy because there is no real political force that can topple the establishment.

WHOSE general election is sexier? Thailand's held on Dec 23 or Malaysia's, which is set for March 8?

According to Panitan Wattanayagorn, an associate professor with Chulalongkorn University’s department of international relations, Thais view Malaysia’s general election as “less democratic, less exciting, less fashionable, less sexy, less trendy”.“We think our election is more exciting,” he added.

On what he thought was the Malaysians perception of Thai polls, Panitan said: “Chaotic, messy, unstable, and not good for the (Thai) economy.”

Thais perceive our general election as less exciting as there is no real political force in Malaysia that can topple the establishment.

“The Barisan Nasional (the successor of the Alliance) has dominated Malaysia’s political environment since 1957,” noted Panitan.

“And the opposition parties are not strong.

“Whereas, in Thailand, the Democrat Party (which is currently the sole opposition party) has governed this country a few times.

“We have a more open political environment, but Malaysia is more stable politically. We are now experiencing instability, and have been for a long time, while Malaysia has been stable since 1957.

“The reformasi movement caused political turbulence but not enough to overthrow the strong Barisan.”

Thailand has been rocked by instability since anti-Thaksin (Shinawatra) rallies started in 2005 and climaxed in a coup against the then prime minister on Sept 23, 2006.

And after 16 months of military rule, Thailand returned to democracy with the Dec 23 polls.

According to the associate professor, the political culture in Thailand is different from that in Malaysia.

“Unlike Thais, Malaysians are less politicised. We have civil society groups that are very active, such as the People’s Alliance for Democracy, which led the anti-Thaksin rallies,” he explained.

“We have small but powerful NGOs which are able to play the role of providing checks and balances to the government.”

Another difference is that bread and butter issues are the priority in Malaysia.

“The economy is placed higher than political freedom,” observed Panitan.

“But for Thais political freedom is valued more than the economy.”

Economically, Malaysia is much better off than Thailand based on the human development index – Malaysia’s per capita income is US$5,000 (RM16,112), while Thailand's is US$2,000.

“When people are better off, they often ask fewer questions, as they don’t want their lives disrupted,” he said.

Isn’t feeding the stomach more important?

“Well, like India and Ghana, that is Thailand’s political culture (more concerned with politics than the economy),” he said.

Asked if Thais were interested in the March 8 polls, Panitan, who was a member of the prime minister’s eminent person advisory board during the Surayud Chulanont interim government, replied: “Not that much.”

“But one thing that may interest the Thai government is the outcome in the northern states (which have common borders with Thailand).”

If Perlis, Kedah, Perak and Kelantan were to come under the control of PAS, the cooperation between the Thai and Malaysian governments on southern Thailand, which has been the scene of a bloody Islamic insurgency, could be affected, Panitan noted.

Thais, he added, had the perception that some Malaysian northern states were not accommodative in terms of detaining Thai militants who cross the border.

“But, of course, that goes the same for the Thais, too.

“To improve the situation (in the south), Thailand must make sure it treats these people fairly and handles the situation in a more balanced way,” he said.

Well, Malaysians, let's make this election sexy!

Now who said politic is boring. It can be sexy too!

P/s: If you are registered voters, dont forget to cast your vote.

Sunday, February 17, 2008

Post Valentine Post

Heck!It 17th already. The Japs are here already. The V-day already pass by and some, even propose a "Single Awareness and something something Day". Well Between these three days, I must say it just the same as any other day in my life.

I know. I know. Some people make a lot of fuss out of this shortest month of the year. Ok perhaps not so short since this year it ends at 29th but still shortest amongst other. Well that is something...

There is V-day, Chinese New Year, The Jade Emperor day and not to forget it Lent season already. Gosh...I almost forgot about it (and even there a lot of fuss too about this year Lent seoson since it starting day collide with CNY).

Anyhow, my friend and housemate (including me too), well we kinda addicted to this song. Just see the big name. As a reminder all my housemate are straight, it just the singer name is soo gay. Or is it just me? And me, single and not so available and enjoying myself

Feel like a teenager sometimes.

Wednesday, February 06, 2008

Confirm (that I'm gay)

Finally... I've just come back from Pedu damn yesterday with a big relieve, and i woke up today with even bigger relieve. Its not because i'm tired or i'm finally can get out of that blood sucker leech kingdom, but somehow, that few days of expedition to Pedu Damn (and an escape of somewhat) I realized one thing 'bout my self or rather confirming my confused enquiry about myself.

Okay, there is been a big question keep playing in mind regarding my sexuality orientation. Its to know whether I'm gay or bisexual. To be frank i don't like bisexual and i dont like to be one. Few weeks back i keep thinking that I'm becoming something that i hate. Or is it that just a process that some people will experience along the way???

Anyway, finally when i wake up today, i wake up with a pleasant gay-themed dream with a smile. I know, I'm still gay and proud of being one. Keep remembering my friend sexy ass and how much I wanna to kiss that lips of his. It sound like a desperation, but believe me I feel much better thinking like that. Its been awhile since i have a feeling like that and in between (few weeks back) I'm kinda develop a feeling towards women. Even dreaming that I'm having sex with them. And I was like ewwh.I'm gay remember. Its kinda like the feeling of a straight guy have when they dream of making love with another guy. Except in my situation, its the opposite.

I did watch some gay porno, browse some gay guy profile, but it doesnt work.I dont have the kind of feeling that i have now (towards men). And i hate the part where i dream that i'm having a sex with a girl. Right now I think like I'm Nakatsu situation when he found out that Mizuki is not boy (Hanakimi drama). Haha ore-wa homo janaii!! oops i mean ore-wa bisex janaii~~

Oh by the way did i mention about Pedu Damn Expedition and the blood sucker leech kingdom? Well thats another story. (No worries nothing much happen hehe)

Saturday, January 26, 2008


Finally the internet is back. But honestly I really dont know for how long. Hopefully for long time though. Thing with the house has been a little bit complicated though.

And I have unfinished blog to finish. Really not in the mood to finish it. I was supposed to post it last week but as I mention earlier the Internet just back today. Couldn't find the time to post through the lab computer anyway as I was busy entertaint the sophomore with their lab work and gosh the new colleague sometime really piss me off. And just because he older than me, doesn't mean he have to talk arrogantly. Jeez.

Anyhow, with the death of actor Heath Ledger (i'm sure lots of people blog bout it) I cant wait to watch The Dark Knight. I still remember one of his drama "Roar", Celtic kinda themed-drama (it has sparked my interes towards Celtic culture) and it felt like yesterday.

Sayonara Heath Ledger...

Wednesday, January 09, 2008

what a shame....

Crazed Fan's Dialogue during Dr. Sheikh Muszaphar @ USM Penang (January 5th, 2008).

Crazed fan: Saya bla bla binti bla
bla, seorang pelajar ilmu pendidikan.
Of course saya nak tujukan soalan
kepada angkasawan kita, Dr Sheikh
Muzasphar (Yeah, right, soalan, it
wasn’t a soalan okay it was a

Crazed fan Continued: Saya ingin
mengatakan bahawa saya sebagai bakal
guru akan mendidik anak-anak bangsa
sehingga berjaya menjadi angkasawan
kelak dan mengikuti contoh Dr. Sheikh

Me (starting to get embarrassed): I
looked at my friend who was sitting
down and each of us rolled our eyes
while silently communicating to each
other….. Oh, pleeeasee!

Crazed fan continued on: Saya akan
pastikan mereka akan meminati sains
dan akan menjadi orang-orang yang
berguna. Saya mewakili semua mahasiswi-
mahasiswi di sini …….

Me: Whoaaaa! Just wait a minute there
missy. Just what the hell do you think
you’re doing? Who the bloody hell made
you my representative????
(unfortunately all said in my head)

Crazed fan blabbed on: Saya mewakili
semua mahasiswi-mahasiswi di sini
ingin mengatakan kami berbangga dengan
Dr. Sheikh dan just want to say ………
(drum roll please)….. I LOVE YOU!!!!

Me: WHAAATTT!!! What the hell are you
saying (All of course in my head). I
just really wanted to strangle her.


Taken from my friend bulletin. And I was like errgh OMGWTHBBQRST!!!!!!!
What a shame...

Saturday, January 05, 2008


Sometimes you cant help but keep feel this "void" feeling inside of you. Feels like something is not complete, part of your life is missing, and you keep wondering what is this missing piece. Its like the void in your heart and it is tranquil but yet its depressing and incompletely empty.