Thursday, December 02, 2010

Rhapsody #102: Me and Death

Death, the one appointment we all must keep, and for which no time is set

I still shocked and saddened by the news that my ex-colleague has passed away due to an accident this morning. I received the news somehow early in the evening and it shock me through out my day.

She never was my favourite ex-colleague last time. in fact i was sort of hate her. I really don't know why...she kinda piss me off (i don't know how to put it more softly). I guess I'll never know why she never like me (i feel that she treated me differently than others, and she always stick to this other guy, and he is gay too. she sort of his hag. probably she sense another fag in the house kot...). Though I wasnt very fond of her, I still feel very sad with her lost.

On the other side, I find that she is very sweet(just like her name), cheerful,confident and kinda charmingly flirty. Probably i envy her for that. She seems faithful to her friend, I guess i wasn't lucky because I wasn't in her circle of clique. I dont know, but probably we just feel awkward. I do find her very pretty too. Such a tragic loss. Her death remind me how fragile life is, and how important the value of life. She did leave something behind, a fond memory of her, and my appreciation towards life.

I think I kinda hate this month of December again. First, my grandma had passed away on Christmas Eve, so it really suck the Xmas air out of me. I think that god is punishing me, because i post, actually i re-post what perez hilton had wrote regarding the current pope (and i do still think he sucks). Part of why i losing my faith. I couldnt help but blame myself on that. Then again this one. My friend.December really grieve me. Not to mention that (im sure everyone does) that i have a lot of thing in my mind. I remember a quote from paulo coelho blog saying that memory is like a salt. The right amount make the food delicious. Too much ruined it. I know i shouldnt dwell to much on it, but i just cant get it out of my mind.

I kinda remember one song from Simple Plan, where the singer dedicated the song for his lost friend who died in car accident too. Now i know what he feels.The song really fit this situation.

Time only can heal so much.

On a different note,I send an sms to my crush a moment after i learned about the news, telling him that i lost an ex-colleague in a car accident, hoping that he would respond or something. So far still nothing yet, but i still keep my finger crossed. Wish me all the love in the world.

p/s: Please, don't drink and drive.