finally

Finally the internet is back. But honestly I really dont know for how long. Hopefully for long time though. Thing with the house has been a little bit complicated though.

And I have unfinished blog to finish. Really not in the mood to finish it. I was supposed to post it last week but as I mention earlier the Internet just back today. Couldn't find the time to post through the lab computer anyway as I was busy entertaint the sophomore with their lab work and gosh the new colleague sometime really piss me off. And just because he older than me, doesn't mean he have to talk arrogantly. Jeez.

Anyhow, with the death of actor Heath Ledger (i'm sure lots of people blog bout it) I cant wait to watch The Dark Knight. I still remember one of his drama "Roar", Celtic kinda themed-drama (it has sparked my interes towards Celtic culture) and it felt like yesterday.


Sayonara Heath Ledger...

what a shame....

Crazed Fan's Dialogue during Dr. Sheikh Muszaphar @ USM Penang (January 5th, 2008).

Crazed fan: Saya bla bla binti bla
bla, seorang pelajar ilmu pendidikan.
Of course saya nak tujukan soalan
kepada angkasawan kita, Dr Sheikh
Muzasphar (Yeah, right, soalan, it
wasn’t a soalan okay it was a
monologue).

Crazed fan Continued: Saya ingin
mengatakan bahawa saya sebagai bakal
guru akan mendidik anak-anak bangsa
sehingga berjaya menjadi angkasawan
kelak dan mengikuti contoh Dr. Sheikh

Me (starting to get embarrassed): I
looked at my friend who was sitting
down and each of us rolled our eyes
while silently communicating to each
other….. Oh, pleeeasee!

Crazed fan continued on: Saya akan
pastikan mereka akan meminati sains
dan akan menjadi orang-orang yang
berguna. Saya mewakili semua mahasiswi-
mahasiswi di sini …….

Me: Whoaaaa! Just wait a minute there
missy. Just what the hell do you think
you’re doing? Who the bloody hell made
you my representative????
(unfortunately all said in my head)

Crazed fan blabbed on: Saya mewakili
semua mahasiswi-mahasiswi di sini
ingin mengatakan kami berbangga dengan
Dr. Sheikh dan just want to say ………
(drum roll please)….. I LOVE YOU!!!!

Me: WHAAATTT!!! What the hell are you
saying (All of course in my head). I
just really wanted to strangle her.

****************************************

Taken from my friend bulletin. And I was like errgh OMGWTHBBQRST!!!!!!!
What a shame...

void

Sometimes you cant help but keep feel this "void" feeling inside of you. Feels like something is not complete, part of your life is missing, and you keep wondering what is this missing piece. Its like the void in your heart and it is tranquil but yet its depressing and incompletely empty.

Have yourself a merry little christmas

finally i got myself a little christmas mood(after i wake up with headache) everyone else were busy talking about christmas shopping, but i guess it gonna be another tuesday for me.

So this year lets go for a classic christmas. ^^



Have yourself a merry little christmas everyone.

Long pause...

It been awhile, and i've read that on someone blog "that updating a blog is akin to maintaining a long-distance relationship. If you don’t constantly update your partner about the goings-on in your life, things build up and you don’t know where to start." And I couldnt agree more. And my life as usual, chemically thrilling.(and i just found out that my friend blogs too!)



Anyway, if you a football fans, you'll be already know this. The AC Milan and Brazil playmaker hunk, won the FIFA Player of the Year award on Monday. That the best Christmas gift for him this year. Plus he also won the European Footballer of the Year and his wife announced recently they were expecting their first son.

Meanwhile in Ewood Park, England Wenger's boys make it their way into final four in Carling Cup. And I must say, this season Arsenal young gun really look good hahaha. And one of their startlet (his look definitely match his skill...on field of course LOL) non other than ever delicious Cesc Fabregas.







Droolicious eh haha

This event happen last Sunday, and due to a certain circumstances (no-no i do not have a breakdown or what-so-ever), i didnt manage to post anything that nite. So it begin:

It all comes to this nite 11/11. The meeting with my dream boy. Somehow when it all over, when it time to part, suddenly i was struck by an awfully deep sad feeling. Maybe because I like him. Been knowing him for two years, but this was our first meeting ever since i knew him (part of why i call him my dream boy). I'm sad-perhaps because I want to stay with him longer. Perhaps it because he had someone special waiting for his call. Or maybe this feeling is envy. Because he is everything i wanted to be. Rich (i just assume-and i got my reason) drop deap burning hot gorgeous, an Eurasian. And he has 3 more guys chasing after him. He everything I want to be but couldn't be. No i doesnt feel small or insecure- i just want more. Everyone do want more. Perhaps because he is my dream boy. It kinda a guy that you meet in dream,come and go unexpectedly. Stumble upon him at the least expected time. Fair cherub-like dream boy. ok perhaps the term boy wasnt suit him at all, maybe guy suit him more. And i dont know whether there will be second time.

At this moment, somehow, I hate the "fate" and everything it dictates. Its killing me.

Straight Guy Rhapsody

Indeed, the day past very fast. LW i agree with u there. absalutely. The thing is, i think i'm still tired from the event that took place last week. Today i woke up late again arrive at the lab quite late, and i dont even know that today is Wednesday (pathetic yes). Not to mention i feel kinda weak and i got the feeling that i'm sick. So i sms this doctor-going-to-be fella asking his advise lor. Well sort of give him pratice how to deal with his future patient hahaha. - which he advise to avoid hot stuff (include hot men)- that i cant guarentee. hahaha.

anyway, last week was a very busy week for me. for some it was raya, and i could smell the chicken curry away (delicious....). As for me i was busy feasting my eyes with lotsa eye candy (eventhou my eyes fixed on one particular guy). okok seriously i was at ICG'07. It was the most hectic and busiest 4 days not to mention tiring days i ever had in my life (so far being a LOC team). I only been away for 4 days but it feel likes a loooooooooooong time. Btw, ICG is a shortform for Inter-Campus Gathering, an event that took place once every two year and held by the each respective diocese (this year it was organized by Penang Diocese). So basicly its a time for all CSS (catholic Student Society) to gather and discuss about certain issue. And ofcourse, its an even for eye candy feast. *wink*wink*
Oh how many times did me fall for straight guy with girlfriend and told ourself no too. Many times and this time i did it again. ok maybe the word fall to much but ... i like this particular guy (and we cant resist cute and burning hot guy rite). I only managed to know his name and the only thing i ever said to him is "Good morning". But then its not like i have the chance to talk to him anyway.Well i know i absalutely cant forget THE guy because i dont want to. Atleast not yet.

After back from ICG i didnt even get a proper rest. The next event, collect more sample for research material and i even have to come to the lab on sunday again. Man this week i really need to rest. Rest assure.

Life so far

Man finally its a holiday. Hari Raya Holiday, even though some did not get their holiday, its my first holiday as a malaysian plebs. Last few days seem busy (or atleast i make myself busy) doing some test on a subject that i havent get to fully comprehend yet. Atleast not yet. Now I know what it feel to be in the lab from 9-5, not like what i had in my mind. Well i imagine myself sitting infront of the computer doing some data analysis for an oil and gas company, or spend some quality quite time offshore, not in the lab, playing with those chemical stuff. Anyway i just couldnt complain, a job is still a job anyway.

Man... back to life, normal street or not i must say it is very mundane. I mean life isnt drama or sitcom where you get most of your fun from it, but hey it never hurt to play fun once in awhile minus the chemical stuff ofcourse. Ever since i left my chemistry studies since high school, i lost track of which chemical is harmfull which is not although it is a safe bet to be on the safe side. Like few days ago when i'm doing this test, using acid ascorbic, and jokingly i said, "hey we got vitamic C here, anybody want some?" only to get a reply from my friend "if u wanna die early take-lah". Isnt VitaC is harmless (as far as i could remember lah) but hey I still wanna live longer. Speaking bout life, it seem that many people that i know (well not that many just two only) are trying to have a family. Family of their own. Children of their own, i mean are they gonna leave their rainbow life? And it makes me wonder, what would i do if i were in their place, or when i reach their age? Could be i have the same thought like that? I always love kid, but there is but, and i know its not impossible for rainbow-er to have kid, but then i really hate bisexual people (there is reason to it and it doesnt apply to all of them) even though i feel that im a bisexual in the making (sometimes) and i hate that thought...

I've started smoking again-i found a box of Malboro cigarrette(mine it just i forgot wher i've put it) and whoa... I guess i'll just stop after this box is empty

begining of the end

and now it comes to the end. from the hustle of the final exam to the final procession after we sang the last uni's song and receiving the scroll from Pro-Chancellor. It was all time BIG exhausting event not to mention bored at the same time something that you shouldnt forget for. It been tiring, but it been great. Finally atlast we come to the place where everybody else before us has reached, and we were announced officially that we were GRADUATING. And now we are officially called ex-student of USM, and we no longer using present tense to describe our connection there, only past tense. I was there, I was with that club, I was staying there, it all has become the past tense. And now as we were joining the band of wagon with other graduate throughout the country looking for a job and build a career, it all has become a new path. Now without the walls protecting us, we were making our journey to the world that we never new been before, making our voice heard, and creating a place,name, perhaps even fame for ourself. It all has started now, and i should cut my slacking ass too. I guess it just another begining.

Torn???

it always hard to forget your love. Even harder if it is your first love. How can i choose my second love if i'm still think about my first. Who ever forget their first love. No one. And that is why it called the first. Some of it might be painful, but there got to be the first.

The road to the first love is hard. Hard enough, but i'm confident that i could have it. Or atleast i have a faith in it. The second love rather less troubled compare to the first, not to say it not hard, but still isnt complicated as the first one. My heart still occupy itself with the many it choices (that i have), but still it cant forget the first one. And that make it hard for me to choose the second.

Good dream gone bad

i know its so lame, but hey its so me. Man the only thing that awake me from my peaceful dream was my bad dream which is soooo (not lame ) i donno what word to described it. Behold, first i must stated that the definition of bad might varies from one to another, as in my case, it is when something good happen (in dream ofcourse) has gone bad. That all. At the first stage of dream it was nice (well i take it as a sign of a somewhat a brighter future??? hell so lame) has turn into mafia style fighting (oh too much movie). I know, i know, but isnt dream is the realm where our alter-ego (or however the spelling might be and correct me if im wrong) satisfied it or our (wink wink) dark deepest secret that been surpressed by..., hurm i forgot the medical term of it, by our ego (if not mistaken).

But then, it has made me realize, where part of the dream (well u can say it sort of slide show or movie) show few of my frens that i miss them a lot. However most of it comes from my anxiety of looking for job. Most of my friend already land themselves in o&g industry, which is what im looking for and what i really want. Some are still like me, waiting and looking. And some find their calling in other industry. Isnt it good if someone could predict the future so we could prepare for the worst of it. The not knowing part is the hardest part. But still i'm bounded by choices. And those choices are killing me. For every choices will lead to a different circumstances and need me to react differently and need to be solve differently. Some are easy, some are quite hard, and some are quite a longer ways. Should i take the road that less travelled??? Whichever it is i still dont know. For if i ask the people i'm familiar with, i'll keep getting the answer that i already knows.

btw dr paul, thanks for the wish. do continue wish me well eh... and i'm back. (^^)v

Jaded

whoa............................ its been awhile-and it been really long time since the last time i checked/update my blog. kinda miss it (good old times of blogging times whaha). Been busy with low-paid-slave-job at the moment and i'm jaded! anyway will be graduating this august (hope everything goes as planned-lah)

Yeah kinda tired, but i know since school day i've been living a unhealthy lifestyle (i.e: sleep very late-and ofcourse wake up late,junk food-gotta to keep fit back again)
Gotta change my bio-clock once again and grab back those beauty sleep!

Wish me luck for future job interview (and i havent prepare myself!)

Adios!

Oh crAp! Bridgie

So today lets write dear diary Bridget Jones wanna be style blogs. Oh wait i havent watch that movie yet, ok wat ever....

Dear bloggy,

today i have a bad day. oh wait define bad day... (Ok) today i go for interview for this one particular company (and i like this f****g company). Since I already describe it as a bad day so anyone can assume how the interview thingy going on lah. And attending the seminar(O&G-field related) after the so watever interview is like a torture. ok enuf. watever motivation console words can relief a broken heart like mine :-* , ~~~sigh~~~~ i just feel so down today. I could have done better, and yet it doesnt went quite well. It feel like u went for ur first date with this particular someone that u like (who-ever, where-eveer that person might be in this world or out of this world) and u got rejected or rather u felt rejected. So i'm kinda sorta sad and down rite now. wat more melancholic word(s) to describe the person who failed hopelessly infront the person that he like. ohkaay wat eva (longoria!!!!!!!!!!!!)

Boohoo! after all didnt i get pain in the ass lesson from any 1 day short coursee to prepare oneself for the interview?

Arg... sometimes ppl just screw up. But this one pain in the asshole big time screw up. okok its not like it the end of the world, it just it take times for us (i.e. me) to like sumone the way u like the other one rite just like before.

yeah yeah so watever am i'm crapping bout now.


ok then baby blogy, i'm gonna just throw up my tantrum to any of the lucky customer. Basha!!!!! Fighting!!!!

And that the end Bridggie Jonie wannabie blogs.

CRaP!! BiG TimeS!

Parting such a sweet sorrow....

Parting such a sweet sorrow. its been a while since the Nanzan student back to Japan. A few week ago, i would be busy hang out with them, introduce new food, new words, everythig new lah. Almost to sweet to comprehend by word. And as the stars shine at it brightest that morning (4.00am), and Gemini constelation can be seen clearly that nite and with me showing my friend Mariko where her zodiac (Gemini) is that morning. Well that was what happen few weeks ago. Ahh really miss them tho. I guess the other buddies missing them aswell. I'm sure bout that. Especially when we all went to Pusat Bahasa or just pass by or for what ever reason that bring us there, I'm sure that the past memories with all the Nanzan student at Pusat Bahasa will automatically played back in our head. And ofcourse that Monday morning as we all didnt sleep all nite long whether helping them packing up or just playing around with them or exchange sake; in our case (only me and my nanzan group:yuki, mariko & reiko + jacky +buma) stout beer. Kampaii nee. One for safe trip back home to Japan and another one for the cherished memory that will ever last forever.

As we go on with life, parting is inevitable. Whether it just for a short while or long time that we dont know when we would meet again, or whether it parting going to be as we approaching the end of semester, it seems that parting road already lies ahead of us. This evening, we organizing a farewell party to our Lecturer as he will joining the industry and opening his own consultan firm. Another parting event that take place today. Like an excerpt from one of my favourite books, Coral Island by RM Ballantyne, its a classic actually and it kinda long, it said:

"TO part is the lot of all mankind. The world is a scene of
constant leave-taking, and the hands that grasp in cordial greeting
to-day, are doomed ere long to unite for the last time, when the
quivering lips pronounce the word - "Farewell." It is a sad
thought, but should we on that account exclude it from our minds?
May not a lesson worth learning be gathered in the contemplation of
it? May it not, perchance, teach us to devote our thoughts more
frequently and attentively to that land where we meet, but part no
more?

How many do we part from in this world with a light "Good-bye,"
whom we never see again! Often do I think, in my meditations on
this subject, that if we realized more fully the shortness of the
fleeting intercourse that we have in this world with many of our
fellow-men, we would try more earnestly to do them good, to give
them a friendly smile, as it were, in passing (for the longest
intercourse on earth is little more than a passing word and
glance), and show that we have sympathy with them in the short
quick struggle of life, by our kindly words and looks and action."

That was my favourite part of this book.

Well i'm afraid we have to part again. No worries. we still be able to meet again.

Hisashiburi...... Japanese Rhapsody #2

So here I am,
Sitting here
Staring blindly
Or trying to find for some idea for my pain in the assignment
Which I suppose to finish last nite
But I went back early
Just because it 3.00 am in the morning
It kinda make me spooky
It make me feel very spooky
And the image of The Ring alike monsters keep appear in my head
Damn, why I imagined those thing…
So I got scared, called my friend and ask him to pick me up
Yeah, yeah I know I’m chicken
Damn supersticious!!!!!!
Hontoni kowaii!!!!


So here again I have to finish my pain in the assignment
Sort of tired
I wish I’m on my bed now
No… this time I didn’t imagine things
Somehow I just feel sad
Sort of very sad
Because I know after next week
Those Japanese student will go back home
And I’m sure I’m gonna miss them
Very much….
But I guess for I know I’ll just keep tomorrow problem for tomorrow
Today no tutorial with them
No more laughter during dinner with them
No longer see their weird expression each time we introduced new food to them
Yeah damn hell
I’m gonna miss them much
I think I’m not the only one
I’m sure bout that
I guess I still have one more week to spend with them
=)

Nihonggo no (日本の)Rhapsody

Its been awhile i didnt update my blogs. Things are getting more bussier than ever. I dunno whether i'll could get enough rest....but life goes on.

I receive a sms from my fren about this student buddy thing that i wanna join. Well lets jump to bottomline, she told me that the registration for student buddy close already. so i cant be one of the wat ever it is. so no jap guys/gals for me. (this student buddy thing will act as a friend and a tutor for the japanese transter student) Sad huhuhu (T.T)I'm so sad since im sort of really excited bout this. sob sob.

i just cant help from feeling very sad bout this. Furthermore my fetish (sound so hentai ne) for japanese thingy(& guy) had developed or rather blooming once again. And as the phone rang which i know who is that person anyway, walking helplessly sad to answer the phone just to get my ear deafen by the high tone of my boss son. Why do they give the phone to their son and let him scream to death to my ears. WTF.

"bla. bla. ok" As I'm trying to make the conversation shorts.

and with the endless pain in the ass-ignment and as a result of sitting infront of the pc for quite a long time, probably i have to wear spec soon and joining the 4 eyes freak club. No offence tho, just i dun want to wear specs or having a contact lens infront of my self-proclaim beautiful eyes.

I'll promise i'll eat more carrots.

Any Given Sunday

Ok here is it. The last day of the week , the last day of the month, and also the last day of the year. Leaving this day with a big bang, sound like a nice plan also. Its tripple celebration. Sunday Trinity hahaha. A perfect end for a not so perfect year.

So gotta make a new year resolution guys. Tripple new year resolution muahahahaha.

1. Get drunk

2.Get thrown out of da club (seriously)

3.Get laid (muahahahaha pervert!)

Okokokok. Just kidding with the list above. Time to get the ass seriously on something big dont cha think?

1. Graduate. Graduate. Graduate (pass the exam ofcourse)

2.Pass the interview with PGS or any oil related company (hopefully/after graduating ofcourse) <---- high ambition huh

3.Win more Dota ha ha ha.

Till then see ya next year!

world wide wait as they said

Yesterday being so left behind in the news, my English lecturer telling us that he read in the news, a recent earthquake in Taiwan has cause the undersea cable to broke and it is said it takes at least 2 weeks for them to repair it. And this cause the internet connection speed has slowed down. It is said that the internet connection in Taiwan and Japan had recover to a normal rate but South East Asian region still experience the slow internet connection tho they said the situation been improving. Well when i discuss bout the earthquake with two other my (straight) friend, all that they care "Is JerryC alright. Gotta check his website. Ha Ha." Duh >.< by the way JerryC is a talented Taiwanese composer (he is the one that compose the Canon rock version) not to mentioned he considerably goodlooking as well.
Damn really should read more newspaper these day ha ha.

Speaking bout English class, i have two-well u can say considerable hot-Finlish (how do you call someone from Finland anyway) guy in my class. And the red-haired girl wasn't that bad looking. My first time seeing someone that naturally red head. I mean those that i have seen are fake (coloured), and this one are real. Authentic. You know what i mean. Well there always first time for everything rite.

The Vamp, The Straight, The School, The Huddled

how fast thing can change unexpectedly. i always told myself to expect the unexpected. tho i still manage to escape from getting hurt to much, but still you can feel the pain.

Last night, after moving two of my boxes only to find that my Harry Potter and Dan Brown book were stolen.Anger, frustration, grieve all mixed into one making me more exhausted than ever. My biological clock ticking faster than before, turning myself into a vampire again, unfinished assignment, the busiest semester i ever had, tho some paper that i took dont have final means 100% course work, but it still make me tired. As i sit next to my friend last night after finish moving my boxes, suddenly i said " I think i gonna quit being a gay!" And he say "what?" Surprised. Though i shall not resist guy like Wang Lee Hom or Drew Fuller for god sake, other than that, it take more effort to make me become gay again. Oh not to forget that super eye candilicous. Plus there was this girl that i found yesterday and she remind me of that Song hye-gyo girl (of Full House and Autumn in my heart) with a Brasilian tanned style skin. Gosh.... Love at first sight? hell no ha ha.... But she definitely gorgeous. Plus i really not in the mood for festive season this year. And my (straight) friend asking me to go clubbing this Christmas. Probably will go for the "Green fairies" . Still two days more for Christmas, i still went around and saying "OMG it Christmas already. I didnt realize it!" The truth is i really didnt realize it. Probably I'm just tired and lonely. Ah I cant believe I'm feel like this. Vulnerable when I think I'm strong. Lonely when i have a lot of people around me. Tired even after i get 8 hours of sleep. Straight when I feel so gay. Wrong when I feel I'm right.

Tired...
Event of motionless...

*********

Love probably didnt come in a box.



but surely one can find it at door step.



Merry Christmas everyone.

A busy start

Its been awhile i didnt update my blog and look like there is something wrong my chatterbox. Too busy tho to fix it. i guess it already serve it purpose and it time for it to be remove ha ha. And ofcourse i didnt forget bout my senior JL, just how to contact you? LOL. I have few of graduated friend ofcourse.

Today is the first day of the semester, and the first class of the day is already canceled.Is this is a good thing or what. Anyhow it gonna be a damn busy semester. Few of my coleague are quiting their job already, hmm i wonder why it something bad always happen when something good is on the run. I mean i'm gonna miss my coleague la. Anyway as the school start i guess i not gonna think much about it. Furthermore its going to be a busy semester indeed. But surely this will happen he he...



p/s: a picture of my junior. He is cute isnt he? hehe