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This event happen last Sunday, and due to a certain circumstances (no-no i do not have a breakdown or what-so-ever), i didnt manage to post anything that nite. So it begin:

It all comes to this nite 11/11. The meeting with my dream boy. Somehow when it all over, when it time to part, suddenly i was struck by an awfully deep sad feeling. Maybe because I like him. Been knowing him for two years, but this was our first meeting ever since i knew him (part of why i call him my dream boy). I'm sad-perhaps because I want to stay with him longer. Perhaps it because he had someone special waiting for his call. Or maybe this feeling is envy. Because he is everything i wanted to be. Rich (i just assume-and i got my reason) drop deap burning hot gorgeous, an Eurasian. And he has 3 more guys chasing after him. He everything I want to be but couldn't be. No i doesnt feel small or insecure- i just want more. Everyone do want more. Perhaps because he is my dream boy. It kinda a guy that you meet in dream,come and go unexpectedly. Stumble upon him at the least expected time. Fair cherub-like dream boy. ok perhaps the term boy wasnt suit him at all, maybe guy suit him more. And i dont know whether there will be second time.

At this moment, somehow, I hate the "fate" and everything it dictates. Its killing me.