josh's rhapsody

New Year Rhapsody: Passion Rhapsody

2011-01-05T22:57:00.007+08:00

At the age of 27, im still struggling with myself both living my life and living my dream. Infact im more confuse than ever now as an adult compare to when im was a teenager. Living responsibility seems to be a big boulder of rock that keeping me from reaching to a conclusion of what my passion really is.

Luckyly i found a few article on how to find your passion here and it really give an idea to write and do this.i've been looking for such article on how to find what is or are your passion really is/are. The things that i've never thought before is that perhaps we have more than one passion and its okay to have more than one. An idea that i never embrace before. Instead im stuck which one and only one. Silly isnt it?

Naturally as a pieces i really2 do love arts. However due to the idea that was instill by my parents that art cant make a living, i growing up and telling myself to hate art. I do love to paint, and i have few painting that im proud of(back when im in high school). I grew myself into science (not that i hate them anyway) but in the end during my uni life i found myself struggling miserably and failing patheticly in my course. But i keep perserving telling myself that i can do it and one day i would land myself a big job as geophysicist with a huge and fat paycheck from big fat oil and gas company. In the end i still end up working up at supermarket just like any other people who doesnt spend and waste both of their money and time!

Anyway (without ashamed) here are the thing thats im passion about, or atleast really intereted of doing it.

1.Acting. Is one form of art, although i dont have the confident of doing so, but in the end, in real life we do put ourself into this so called big stage and act according to our surrounding and people around us. Its not that hard rite.

But really, what make me feels really like an under achiever are those young Korean star who earn (ofcourse they do) lots of money. Fame and money. I know, it sound a bit cliche and so teenage-like esp the Korean idol part, but its the truth. Cant really deny it.

To add a fuel to this dream/passion/interest i found this acting school in korea.interesting isnt it.

2. Didnt i mention that i love to draw. So this is another interest of mine that related to a pencil and drawing board. I wanna become an architec. Yup i do, tho its a bit technical. Back when i was a kid,our grand-family are trying to move to a new place and thinking of a few design on how it should be. So threw i my ideas in trying to impress my grandparent and parent too. Never occurs in my mind that i shud choose this career path. i too try to design my dream house. It was magnificent for a 12 yrs old kid haha.... i do love arranging things and make the living room and my bedroom beautiful. so this lead to interior designing. It sort of my second interest as being an architect is a bit technical, while ID are more towards to creativity of mind and space. hehe.

3. I love beautiful picture (hint camera). Back then my father has this collection of mags (not porn mag) and it also include national geographic sort of magazine. They do have a lots of breathtaking and awesome beautiful picture in it. The thing is im not only admiring those pic, but i also wanted to be one of those people who took those amazing beautiful picture. but its seems nowadays picking dslr is kinda an interest of everybody. almost everyone i know are taking picture with their hand attach to dslr camera. damn this suppose to be my original idea, but alot of then stole them from me(just being dramatic). shoot. i dont want to be perceive as as copycat-ing them as they do not know my interest in picture perfect taking thing. damn this one, but i definitely going to get my hand on one dslr camera. hopefully soon tho.im thinking of having my own nigel baker of ANTM like studio. taking picture of beautiful men and women. :)

4. i do love writing. it helps me express my feeling and idea ofcourse. hence thats is why i started a blog 4 years ago. seems like it easier to write thing back then.

5.there is one thing that i wanted to add on this list but suddenly my mind wander off abouth something and i just forgot about it. damn sometimes i hate my forgetfull mind.

So seing through the list none of them are involving science. after all i took the wrong path. now that i have a list of what my passion are its easier and ofcourse the view are clearer. The burden feels lighter too now that i dont have to think any longer of what to do.

Speaking about goals, well i'm gonna writting it as flatten my belly. With this ever sedentary lifestyle and beer drinking culture, i've been gaining much weight esp in the middle part. my target is to show off my beautiful body by june. Yeah. definitely.

Rhapsody #102: Me and Death

2010-12-02T23:59:00.004+08:00

Death, the one appointment we all must keep, and for which no time is set

I still shocked and saddened by the news that my ex-colleague has passed away due to an accident this morning. I received the news somehow early in the evening and it shock me through out my day.

She never was my favourite ex-colleague last time. in fact i was sort of hate her. I really don't know why...she kinda piss me off (i don't know how to put it more softly). I guess I'll never know why she never like me (i feel that she treated me differently than others, and she always stick to this other guy, and he is gay too. she sort of his hag. probably she sense another fag in the house kot...). Though I wasnt very fond of her, I still feel very sad with her lost.

On the other side, I find that she is very sweet(just like her name), cheerful,confident and kinda charmingly flirty. Probably i envy her for that. She seems faithful to her friend, I guess i wasn't lucky because I wasn't in her circle of clique. I dont know, but probably we just feel awkward. I do find her very pretty too. Such a tragic loss. Her death remind me how fragile life is, and how important the value of life. She did leave something behind, a fond memory of her, and my appreciation towards life.

I think I kinda hate this month of December again. First, my grandma had passed away on Christmas Eve, so it really suck the Xmas air out of me. I think that god is punishing me, because i post, actually i re-post what perez hilton had wrote regarding the current pope (and i do still think he sucks). Part of why i losing my faith. I couldnt help but blame myself on that. Then again this one. My friend.December really grieve me. Not to mention that (im sure everyone does) that i have a lot of thing in my mind. I remember a quote from paulo coelho blog saying that memory is like a salt. The right amount make the food delicious. Too much ruined it. I know i shouldnt dwell to much on it, but i just cant get it out of my mind.

I kinda remember one song from Simple Plan, where the singer dedicated the song for his lost friend who died in car accident too. Now i know what he feels.The song really fit this situation.

Time only can heal so much.

On a different note,I send an sms to my crush a moment after i learned about the news, telling him that i lost an ex-colleague in a car accident, hoping that he would respond or something. So far still nothing yet, but i still keep my finger crossed. Wish me all the love in the world.

p/s: Please, don't drink and drive.

Rhapsody #101: Random

2010-11-27T10:53:00.002+08:00

Wow... last post was 2009. it been 18 months since my last post.
This blog is so 2008/09, back when it peaked.

Smell like one too. Much have change, gained and lost. And it almost 2011 huh.

The 100th Rhapsody: Me and Reminiscence of the past.

2009-06-13T02:59:00.009+08:00

1.Me and kindness of a stranger.

Well this one mark my 100th post. I think I've been around the block for around since 2006. That 3 years. I wrote somewhere in this blog before that maintaining a blog akin to maintaining a long distance relationship. Indeed it is, as we need to constantly pay a visit and try to write one or two what ever the thing that cross our mind. Nevertheless its 100th post (for my blogspot). So I guess it is best if we wrote something nice.

So to begin the story of this 100th post ( I know it seems like showing off haha), I asked my friend the earlier night to bring me to airport to buy ticket for my mum. After having trouble with the website (unable to pay via direct debit for other party unless we traveling too), the next day my friend and went to the airport so I could by the ticket on sales counter. So when it is my turn, I told the sales-girl/cabin crew about my problem with the sites and why I opt to buy on the counter. She told me that I can use the direct debit method as she did the same for her cousins few days ago, and she promised to show how if I could just waited for awhile. Still I insisted to just buy from the counter but she said that the price gonna be way higher than buying online so I waited. After all I got nothing to lose. So after waited for awhile, she open another online counter for me, but as the pc got problem she invited me in, yes she did invite me inside into the office. Well this gave me the opportunities to see the scoop behind the scene, where the cabin crew lepaking themselves while waiting for their night flight or doing some ground floor task such as selling ticket. They've been multi-tasking! Anyway back to the office, after filling out the steps I've reached to the payment methods, and there the problem occurs, I cant make payment through the m2u. And yes she wondering too why the problem occurs. And she asked me to used her own aa.com account, and still the same problem occurs. See I've told you rite.

So she also blur as there is no direct debit section in the web. And reaching for her purse, she offered to help me to pay using her own credit card and of course I have to pay her back...unfortunately she didn't bring her cc. Well its ok since she already offered to help and the intentions is good enough for me already. Perhaps lady luck was on my side or simply her colleagues were eavesdropping on our conversation, he offered his helped too. Well actually he sitting not so far from us, and I was... well I'm touched to be honest. After settling the payment and pay her colleague cash on the spot, and thanking both of them well for making my day brighter, I went straight home with a smile with a promise to make others day better. Kindness is infectious things and tend to become chain reaction.

Here the sreenshot which contain the direct debit payment method.

2.Me and my eastern star.

I remember one phrase. It said like this "people might forget your name,but people would certainly remember how u make them feel." I believe in this phrase to certain extend. More to towards how people make me feel rather than my action towards others.And yes i still remember the name of cabin crew/sales agent on the ground. Both of them.

So I receive this strange invite to open a Tagged account. I had numerous of invinte before which i turn down. This same guy also follows me on my Twitter, tho i dont tweet much. Still, the mystery how did he got my e-mail i don't actually remember and I don't remember giving e-mail to someone as way of communicating with others. Its a good thing that my e-mail haven't changing since late 2002 or 2003 (that make I've been using this same email for 7 years. Wow!) And I accept his invitation, to see who this guy actually is. Turn out he is the guy who i used to have a crush on during my 1st year. Looking good as usual sending his invite from ukraine, and I remember I was kinda sad that my roomates (my roomates and this guy are coming from the same matriculation) told me that he is going to Ukraine to further his studies in Medic. Well... life goes on as it is. I certainly didn't expect him to say "of course i still remember you :)".

Flash backward, during our excursions trip to Kelantan, things got steamy heated in the bus as we sit next to each other, however for my dissapointment he tagged along with other guy, who is a bit sissy-ish (and the very same guy who accusing me that I grab his flat ass- turn out after two years the truth emerge, that he just bad mouthed me behind my back, not that we're friend or something, but at last I'm vindicated. No wonder one of my friend keep calling my "ass-grabbing guy" lol.)

And I ask him whether he still remember me and , well he said he still even remember me and the funny things is he couldn't remember how other guys (the one who called me ass-grabber) look like. Well it make me flattered, the same feeling just like my lucky star did to me when we finally 'found' each other. It is good to know that someone still remember you well after this year. And it definitely make my day.

Me and many ramblings

2009-05-28T19:42:00.004+08:00

1. Me and coldness

Damn, the coldness really kill me with despair. I think thats is why people appreciate the warmth for they have been in coldness before. Warmth sometimes lead to annoying heat, but rage and anger definitely more lively. Despair and sadness literally suck the life out of you.

2.Me and home

I guess I'm pretty much engulf with other matters that I almost forgot that I'm going home tomorrow. Yay! Although I'm still not excited about tomorrow travel and I know the background music that suppose to play right now are either Home by Daughtry or Home by Buble. But ever since I heard this Indonesian song "Aku dan Diri Mu" I pretty much cant take it out of my head.Perhaps... because there are a lots of things left unsaid.

3.Me and conclusion

I guess in the end things sometimes doesnt goes out the way we expect it. Sometimes fate on your side, other times, well you pretty mess up. Either way you got to trust whatever suppose to happen will happen. Somehow you’ll always end up with the person you’re mean to be with.

Me and love reflection/Me and my fault

2009-05-28T00:05:00.004+08:00

At the moment, I'm struck with one big epiphanies. All the great love stories, they just doesn't begin immediately. They takes times to develop, they faces many hardship, conquered it and won it. Well from there its another story of happily ever after or whatnot. So whats up with me, trying too much to jump so fast into that loveship. Probably thats is where I have done my mistake is. I guess everything has it own times, has it own rhythm and the moment we try to take control or push it, even the slightest movement could ever change the original course it was set to be. Although I like to call myself as an adventurer, merely trusting the feeling and lets the heart take the risk, and even if the risk is worth taking, perhaps part of being a good adventurer is choosing wisely which adventure that is worth taking.

I guess when you're were engulf with that demonic passion (just exaggerating there), I think it best to cool everything down. Or perhaps its time to move on and looking for another adventure. I guess I'll just cool everything off first.

Me and conversation

2009-05-27T01:30:00.002+08:00

Perhaps it was the most honest conversation i ever had in a long time.

But I always hate a hanging ending. The mental torture that you get for guessing the answer really kills you. Anticipating is really more painful than the simple truth. Oh trust me, for the truth set us free!

Me & Mistake. Again.

2009-05-26T22:03:00.006+08:00

You see, some mistake are guilty pleasures. Like you know you're are not allowed to have ice-cream when you're sick but you still do or you have an affair with someone even though you're know you're in a relationship. As for me i make one of many of those mistake. Well in my case its not the sex matter.Perhaps its a little bit involving those wild fantasy.

Two days ago I went for hair cut, and my mistake was not doing it with my regular hair dresser. So I went to this new place instead, a decent well decorated and professional like place, but i guess I was wrong. The moment she cut my hair I felt something terribly wrong, but its not like you to bail out in the middle of the hair cutting process with your hair is half-cutted. Yes the hair-dresser is a girl while the place I usually go to is a guy and he is gay too. How do I know...? Well lets say I just know because I found his profile in gay dating website. Hes a bottom too. Anyway when she cut it like i said it was totally wrong. I know it, but here's the guilty pleasure part. When she asked me whether I would like to get a massage, I said "Hell yes. Give it to me baby!" Ok not exactly like that. But man she got the golden touched, and nooooo I did not just cummed in my short. She really know how to work her hand which make me think "have she worked in a massage parlour before?". At that time all my doubt flown away along with the massage that she give. Damn, so does my wallet getting thinner because of it. But as everything come back to reality, realizing that hair-do make me so bitterly ugly, I swore to myself I wont come back unless I need a good massage. Girl you suck as a hair-dresser but you give damn good massage.

Me & Bummers

2009-05-26T17:29:00.003+08:00

1. Talking about disappointment, I woke late for three consecutive morning. Damn it, even though I have more than enough sleep, but still couldn't wake up early in the morning, and I couldn't hear my alarm. Fuck. So when your morning basically a mess, it practically put you in a bad mood and ruin your day.

2. As the tv season come to an end, there are quite bummer around. I won't talking about the not returning show (thanks god Chuck is renewed, and Supernatural have a good prospect, so I doubt the show will be canceled. Touch wood! Touch wood!) As the winner of American Idol and ANTM is revealed, it doesn't bring the good news. I know I'm late on this, but still... Adam & Alison were both landed second place and they both my favourite contestant. Well lets say I've been rooting for both of them since audition, as I know they both are something something. One with fierce personality and another has fierce big eyes. Both are captivating. Damn TyranouSOURus and American Idol voters.

3. The third bummer... is such a biggest disappointment. Like the "apple pie" told me once upon a time a dinosaur roams this planet earth, "if you fall for someone try not to fall to hard, the harder you fall, the more hurt its gonna get." Something like that. Kinda. I wish everything was easy and the hardest part is not finding the one that matter, but to keep on the same page as that one person is. Damn it I really don't know what to do. Perhaps...something that good to boost up my self-esteem, like lucky streak winning ticket to a million of dollar or perhaps a hook up with someone who like you or adores you. After all sex make people feels good and put you in a good mood.

yeah just the way i like it...

Me and Sex Drive, Coffee at Borders

2009-05-23T00:58:00.008+08:00

1.Lately I've on such a low sex-drive, whether its a mistake or simply hook up,the good think about sex is it always put you in a good mood. I couldn't think of any reason why i'm so low on the drive, well perhaps i could come with one or two, but i wont saying.

2.This evening, I went out with a friend of mine, since she's been asking me so long to meet. Well i know really well what is the purpose of this meeting, however lets just skip to the time when we about to go back. Well on the way to the car, suddenly an airplane fly over us-well not exactly suddenly as in suddenly a pilot decide to fly an airplane out of the blue sky- ok the point is, the moment the aircraft fly over us and me turning my head to look towards the plane as it fly by, I was captivated by the sound of its engine. I dont know why but I feel it is the most beautiful sound in the world.And I really enjoy that moment. Me listening to that beautiful engine sound. Ok I'll confess I also love the sound of a muscle car such as Mustang, The Chevy that Winchester Brother drive in their demon hunt (btw theres gonna be season 5, yes love it) or 4WD (ok its not exactly a muscle car but still it sound good).

3.Well back to the meeting with my friend-she actually want me to take her place once she leave the "seat". The problem is, well I'm kinda into a more glamorous job or well lets say not so heavenly work related since this the "seat" job is directly related to the church. As I'm telling her that faith wise I'm probably not the best person but she told me to let the whole faith thing to the priest. Or the word she said is that me shouldn't worry about the faith issue as I could consult the priest for help. But heck if I'm doing this it would be like an oxymoronic thingy. Cliche of all cliche. Lets face it, although I'm not out and loud, but still I'm kinda perfectly comfortable with my sexuality and to work with the people who.....well their faith kinda opposing this side of heaven,though I always preach my student that who would Jesus side with if He were alive. As Tyranousaurus said it Gay is the new black y'all.

That not the only part of why I'm a bit reluctant to the "seat", well maybe because that I'm planning to apply for the cabin crew job. Its not that I haven't apply ,I even almost freaking god dammit got the job. I didn't got the job because the interviewer lady said that i'm overweight.(Btw i still remember her name perfectly) C'mon lady. Give me some slack. I'll exercise and lose weight. To my comfort a few people that I make friend with during the interview also didn't get it, and well we still friend now. The hunkiest sikh-ish looking guy that I've drool about also didn't get the job. Well he is 27 and hes hot. Ok perhaps I want to apply for it again despite the disappointment that I have; for not getting it. Anyway one of many reason that I wanted to apply for this kind of job just because well you know you could get free ticket and travel to foreign country of which another thing (travel) that I love but have to put on hold due to finacial constraint. Speaking about travel the other job also require me to travel rather alot too.

Hmm what next steps gonna be, and if someone tell me that God has a plan, I'll might just perhaps killing the next person come to me.

Me and mistake

2009-05-22T03:23:00.003+08:00

I believe in karma, and just like life, karma can be a bitch too. As my friend said in his Facebook; wonders how life should be? Smooth & straight like y=mx+c? Or bumpy once a while like ax^2+bx+c=0? Or enjoying your lowest moment before getting the ultimate goal like y=log(x)? Or swinging all the time like y=sin(x)? Or with no ultimate goal to achieve like y=tan(x)?

And the payback always, well hard. Its hard to face the hard truth about yourself. Thinking back the choices that you made in the past and thinking it was might be a mistake. It even harder when you took the chances, and fail. I guess the right thing to do right now is taking the positive steps and suck it up and face the world-while i’m still not whining about it.

Random thought

2008-12-24T01:48:00.004+08:00

yes i read perez

Ok i might be Catholic but I dont have to agree with the pope! Yes the pope! He currently issueing that man need to be saved from gays!

Borrowing the words of my favourite author, Paulo Coelho; "...this new pope is a disaster, to put it plainly....we'll survive this pope."

Horrible is the new adorable

2008-12-24T01:31:00.002+08:00

Just as i found bitter is the new sweet, it doesnt sound strange if i say that horrible is the new adorable. And kim dong wan is the new william hung.

damn santa stole my present. but atleast i got this utterly adorable video for christmas.

This One Santa I want for Christmas!

2008-12-22T02:12:00.003+08:00

Christmas is definitely 3 days away. Somehow it doesnt really excite me this year. Totally not in the mood for christmas. How I wish this hunky Santa would came and deliver present on Christmas' Eve itself (and stay overnite) haha.

People here must be lucky.

Yesterday

2008-12-17T13:43:00.004+08:00

"disco disco good good"

Yesterday....

1. i'm dead bored. sometimes i felt like i'm a walking zombie. blame it on the moon too. felt unmotivated, unspirited, energyless. its not like moody pms tho, it like a constant moodless period over time. got nothing to do either. friendster sucks, facebook does not amuse me either.

it make heroes seem uninteresting (not to mention this gotta be the suckiest heroes season ever). not to mention the seem lost prison break over their syclla. spring cleaning doesnt help either. randomly i just delete people that i didnt know in my friend list-both friendster and facebook.

2. At night I couldnt help but eavesdropping two daddies swaping spit i mean stories about their own breed-unintentionally since they are infront of me. The two daddies pretty much ok in term of look-not that hideous nor that hot DILF, but i would pretty say acceptable. Not everyone are Brad Pittlicous.

Daddy A: Sometimes I really pity my second child. Why not, coz he seems to get his brother left over.

Daddy B: Yeah me too. The situation is the same. I still remember about my 1st born son. When he came (to this world literally), he was lavished with all the goodness. His grandfather spend a fortune for him.

Daddy A nodded his head. " Yeah. But then come the second one everything seems to cool down. They just get his big bro left over.

Daddy B: It always like that. My 3rd child also receive the same treatment. It like up and down.

After paying for what it seems like items for their kids they left the counter and heading out of the mall till they gone out of sight.

I dont know which is sexier, two daddies shopping together or the fact that they are shopping together.

3.On different notes, i see a lots of break-up around... but that is another day.

boys, beers and balls

2008-12-09T14:41:00.003+08:00

boys notes:
hmm i was wondering wats better than sittin with your friend watching football match. well probably a good sex or driving insanely fast sports car.

beer notes:
suddenly my housemate said "hey lets drink beer."

"good idea" said another. "dont forget mine is carlsberg special brew ya" add another.

and i was wondering what was the occasion, but it seems to be none. what the heck! anyway one doesnt need the reason to drink dont they....

balls notes:
a bottle of beer, and a football match. its double kill combination for some. and we watch 20 balls chasing one ball while another two balls trying their best to catch the one ball. confuse? dont be.

that nite we watch Arsenal 1-0 victory over Wigan. And my Arsenal fanatic friends smile all the way to his bed.

All i want for christmas....

2008-12-06T19:44:00.006+08:00

yup its the real brokeback mountain

...is to turn back time.

everytime when someone ask me what did i study back in university, i've always told them that i was from physics school. i rather not tell them that i'm a geophysics graduate who still unemployed by oil and gas company. and the geophysics word would raise the eyebrows of many. it is a strange word for some. some even thought that "oh that is that sort of geography+physics thingy where when u graduate u will teach either geography or physics isnt it?" err...that made mw speechless, not until i explained to them its actually from the word geology+physics hence became geophysics, even so i have to tell them it is an earth science course. then followed by the long "ooooo...".

back then i really had the vague idea of what this course would offer-except for the fact that this discipline would lead one directly to oil and gas industry. i never thought that i would get this course as senior back then often told you that your 1st choice of UPU form would not be the course that u would took for the rest of your university life. so i design that the geology course that i want, i put it in the middle of the list of my UPU form. well who knows, such strategy would lead me to penang instead of to kl-due to the course of course.after nearly flop the 1st year, which lead me to extend the study-few times i wanna change my course but i stick to geophysics till the end.

for those who doesnt know, geophysics is a study of geology with lots of mathematical concepts. The word geophysics itself is derived from a combination of two words geology and physics. lots of lots of mathematical concept. the geology is there, but it come with mathematical concept and understanding. thus your final year paper would likely to consist of lots of lots of equation rather than 3 pages long essay. ok i admit, the 3 pages long essay would help too. its neither easy or hard course. as my senior once told me, this is a do or die course. nothing in between. unfortunately i had to agree with him at some point.

as we gonna celebrate the coming year with rather gloomy expression and the job market rather look grim especially with the down falling of the oil price(something that me myself predicted)and lots of company, oil and gas included freeze their employment-jeez thanks grinch for stealing the early christmas feeling-left one rather wondering. or me wondering how would the year of 2009 would look like. at some point, i sometimes wishing that i put geology course on top of my UPU list instead of this unknown mathematically infested geophysics course...

Random thought

2008-12-04T02:18:00.002+08:00

but now i'm sad and alone. i'm going to become bitter and distrustfull of people because one person betrayed me. i'm going to hate those who have found their treasures because i never found mine and i'm going to hold on to what little i have, because i'm too insignificant to conquer the world.

.........and so the alchemist said.

LOL

2008-11-25T01:24:00.002+08:00

i dont know how to begin, it all over know. it's kinda confusing mixed feeling that i have. well i just broke up, and i should be sad right... well yeah i was, but i guess i'm kinda sorta missin him a little. good thing that we broke up the good way, we came to conclusion that it better to resolve it now before everything got more complicated later.

so i guess a little bit of laughter would do a great magic. and i found this funny joke from my friend buletin. here goes:

Death Row in Women's Prison

Three women are about to be executed. One''s a brunette, one''s a redhead, and one''s a blonde. The guard brings the brunette forward and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready! Aim!"

Suddenly the brunette yells, "EARTHQUAKE!!!"

Everyone is startled and throws themselves on the ground while she escapes.

The guard brings the redhead forward and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She say no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready! Aim!"

Suddenly the redhead yells, "TORNADO!!!"

Everyone is startled and looks around for cover while she escapes.

By now the blonde has it all figured out. The guard brings her forward and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready! Aim!"

And the blonde yells, "FIRE!!!"

Better

2008-11-14T13:25:00.003+08:00

i stumbled upon this very interesting video clip of latest boyzone single "better". The video featured all members with their love interest- and that including Stephen - the openly gay member of bz. feel like yesterday when he first announced his sexual orientation.

i remembered someone wedding vow, "for better or worse, i stand by you"... the song remind me of that vow. ;)

Multiple choices

2008-11-03T21:38:00.006+08:00

Man i forgot how long since the last time I blog. It like almost 6 months. And that last entry was written out of nowhere about what?? I don't know...., some lovey dovey crap. And at that time I was in transition between job. And it is the same for this entry, in between of something....I hate this feeling. Well it kinda unexplainable, but I definitely hate it. And when I look back my high school friend who made it to their career, that feeling sucks. I guess its the ego things and I really thought I would be happy for them but the truth is I wasn't. How I wish they fuck off the hey-i-got-a-better job than yours. Okay, probably they didn't think like that.

Sometimes I regret the choices I made in the past. Like the course that I took, the university that I choose, and many more. Stick to science what-ever or take law or something or even accounting or engineering. I was wondering what if I taken another road. And Robert Frost poem keep popping up itself into my brain, and yeah I made an entry bout that. I guess the hardest thing is not making the right choices, but living with that choices. And its especially hard when you think that choice isn't the right one. And the only thing that I'm good at is being gay.

i think i'm good at being one

Northern Star

2008-05-18T02:30:00.002+08:00

...and I've found my guiding star.

always there but out of reach,
guiding with warm love at distant,
but radiate coldness of the nocturnal night,
but I'm lucky,
for I would be lost without you.

Eternity

2008-05-07T12:57:00.001+08:00

For I've waited for eternity

1.What is the best nickname that u ever had?
A: Teddy bear

2. Do you think suicide is the best way?
A: Noppers. thats the dumbest ever

3. Rate your social life from scale 1 to 10.
A: 9 i think minus the fact that i dont fancy spending time with people i dislike but since i didnt spend my time with them at all now i think i shud put it at 10

4. Are you in love with someone at the moment?
A: Can u really tell??? xD i didnt know it was THAT obvious.

5. are you missing someone at the moment?
A: I am.but try not to think to much about it

6. Would you die for the one you love?
A: I just dont know it yet.

7. Do you think love hurts?
A: Love isnt love until it hurts. Absolutely.

8. Whats the best thing about love at first sight?
A: (I love this question) U realise at that moment that you like a person.

9. Whats the worst thing about love?
A: To love but not to love in return...

10. Will you wait for someone you love?
A: for eternity ;)

11 . What song best describes your love life at this second?
A: Since I'm already screwed, here a message for you,my heart wide open..... figure it out.

14. Have you talked to the person you love on the phone?
A: Not yet at that stage, but in the past ofcourse

15. Do you keep memories or try to forget them?
A: The way u make me feel-Steps (people will remember how u make they feel. so treat people nicely asshole)

16. Is love always on your side or the opposite way?
A: Hurm, that depends and i can't really say that the Lady Luck isnt smiling at me currently, but i guess it never hurt to be on the safe side (Arghh Lady Luck pls date me!!!! pls pls)

19. Are you sick of love?
A: Never will be :)~

20. Are you sick of questions on love?
A: not really. Love love love love? hahaha Love is an interesting subject.

21. Where are you going tomorrow?
A: No where.

22. What do u want so badly right now?
A: Do I really have to say it? (shy)

23. Do you think money is everything?
A: Love is everything, but we do need money too rite..

24. What song are you listening right now?
A: Maroon 5-Wont go home without u

25. Whats the song, you last sang?
A: with you-chris charlie brown

26 . How much do you love music?
A: Very much. Music make my day

27. Do you play an instrument?
A: recorder (LOL)

28. Have you written your own song?
A: Never

29. What movie did you last watch?
A: definitely maybe. (best romantic comedy so far and definitely gonna watch it for the 2nd time)

31. Do you believe in forever?
A: no because i believe in eternity (for eternity is far more serious than forever)

I'm screwed

2008-05-04T00:42:00.004+08:00

I've chatted with my friend in msn and it end like this:

"You too, which ever guy that got you must be so lucky"

I was telling him that his bf is so lucky to have him in his life, and no I dont have whatever love-hate tension dynamic feeling towards him, it more towards a platonic level kinda-relationship.

His remarks remind me of a reply from the "apple-pie" that-i-would-love-to-have
(i was G-chatting over gmail and sms-ing with him the whole nite last nite) and i got a very interesting reply from him "Its interesting what has began as sex proposition led to."

Ofcourse I modified the sms a bit. And I think Paris Hilton-Screwed lyric tells it all:

Since I'm already screwed
Here's a message to you
My heart's wide open
I'm just not getting through to the lover in you
Yet I'm still hoping
That tonight, tonight, you're gonna turn down the lights
And give me a little more room just to prove it to you
What do I gotta do?

By the way, I found this hot MTV

Could anything be hotter than this music video?

Apple Pie that I wanna eat!

2008-05-03T14:21:00.003+08:00

Oooh now-a-days, i really love apple pie. My friend ask me few days ago asking me whether I love to eat pie or not, and i answer "NO". But now i really loves that apple pie that i wanna eat. *Munch munch*

The road less traveled

2008-04-16T21:12:00.007+08:00

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference

The road less traveled can be unpredictable. As much as I hate the fact that it probably gonna full of bump or not, i also know the fact that life should be more colourful. However I don't want it to be in this colour but other colour. Sometimes I wondering if I were at the other road, would it be different? Somebody close to me told me that it is our choice to be happy, but how can you chose your emotion if something bad struck you and you chose to be otherwise. Is it as simple as pressing the change button or what? I absolutely oppose his idea but I cant denied the truth in it or simply i refuse to accept it.

Go Green...its St. Patrick's Day

2008-03-17T17:59:00.002+08:00

Happy St. Patrick's Day to all proud men!

Happy Birthday

2008-03-14T22:58:00.002+08:00

A year older, still not yet a year wiser. Well what can i say still crappy and hate it very much. Still remember as the day to my birthday approaching, i felt very down and sad. Yes i do cry, when I watch Heather of ANTM 9 voted out or perhaps i use it as a reason for me to shed the tears. Gosh felt so hopeless. And sometime i felt like just wanna to let go... (Jesus take the wheel~~~)

Anyway today I got a lots of wishes messages and sms-es. To my surprise my mom sms me happy birthday (she wasn't that techno advanced mommy) and I'm touched by her message. It simple message but perhaps, it is just what i need the most.

Thanks all for your wishes, my friends. I appreciate it.

Happy birtday to me!

Something to ponder for the upcoming election

2008-02-19T13:06:00.002+08:00

I read this article in the Star last Saturday. The writer was right when he said that Malaysian are less politicised.

Time to bring sexy back

THAI TAKES
By PHILIP GOLINGAI

Thais perceive our general election as less exciting and less sexy because there is no real political force that can topple the establishment.

WHOSE general election is sexier? Thailand's held on Dec 23 or Malaysia's, which is set for March 8?

According to Panitan Wattanayagorn, an associate professor with Chulalongkorn University’s department of international relations, Thais view Malaysia’s general election as “less democratic, less exciting, less fashionable, less sexy, less trendy”.“We think our election is more exciting,” he added.

On what he thought was the Malaysians perception of Thai polls, Panitan said: “Chaotic, messy, unstable, and not good for the (Thai) economy.”

Thais perceive our general election as less exciting as there is no real political force in Malaysia that can topple the establishment.

“The Barisan Nasional (the successor of the Alliance) has dominated Malaysia’s political environment since 1957,” noted Panitan.

“And the opposition parties are not strong.

“Whereas, in Thailand, the Democrat Party (which is currently the sole opposition party) has governed this country a few times.

“We have a more open political environment, but Malaysia is more stable politically. We are now experiencing instability, and have been for a long time, while Malaysia has been stable since 1957.

“The reformasi movement caused political turbulence but not enough to overthrow the strong Barisan.”

Thailand has been rocked by instability since anti-Thaksin (Shinawatra) rallies started in 2005 and climaxed in a coup against the then prime minister on Sept 23, 2006.

And after 16 months of military rule, Thailand returned to democracy with the Dec 23 polls.

According to the associate professor, the political culture in Thailand is different from that in Malaysia.

“Unlike Thais, Malaysians are less politicised. We have civil society groups that are very active, such as the People’s Alliance for Democracy, which led the anti-Thaksin rallies,” he explained.

“We have small but powerful NGOs which are able to play the role of providing checks and balances to the government.”

Another difference is that bread and butter issues are the priority in Malaysia.

“The economy is placed higher than political freedom,” observed Panitan.

“But for Thais political freedom is valued more than the economy.”

Economically, Malaysia is much better off than Thailand based on the human development index – Malaysia’s per capita income is US$5,000 (RM16,112), while Thailand's is US$2,000.

“When people are better off, they often ask fewer questions, as they don’t want their lives disrupted,” he said.

Isn’t feeding the stomach more important?

“Well, like India and Ghana, that is Thailand’s political culture (more concerned with politics than the economy),” he said.

Asked if Thais were interested in the March 8 polls, Panitan, who was a member of the prime minister’s eminent person advisory board during the Surayud Chulanont interim government, replied: “Not that much.”

“But one thing that may interest the Thai government is the outcome in the northern states (which have common borders with Thailand).”

If Perlis, Kedah, Perak and Kelantan were to come under the control of PAS, the cooperation between the Thai and Malaysian governments on southern Thailand, which has been the scene of a bloody Islamic insurgency, could be affected, Panitan noted.

Thais, he added, had the perception that some Malaysian northern states were not accommodative in terms of detaining Thai militants who cross the border.

“But, of course, that goes the same for the Thais, too.

“To improve the situation (in the south), Thailand must make sure it treats these people fairly and handles the situation in a more balanced way,” he said.

Well, Malaysians, let's make this election sexy!
________________________________________________________

Now who said politic is boring. It can be sexy too!

P/s: If you are registered voters, dont forget to cast your vote.

Post Valentine Post

2008-02-17T01:26:00.002+08:00

Heck!It 17th already. The Japs are here already. The V-day already pass by and some, even propose a "Single Awareness and something something Day". Well Between these three days, I must say it just the same as any other day in my life.

I know. I know. Some people make a lot of fuss out of this shortest month of the year. Ok perhaps not so short since this year it ends at 29th but still shortest amongst other. Well that is something...

There is V-day, Chinese New Year, The Jade Emperor day and not to forget it Lent season already. Gosh...I almost forgot about it (and even there a lot of fuss too about this year Lent seoson since it starting day collide with CNY).

Anyhow, my friend and housemate (including me too), well we kinda addicted to this song. Just see the big name. As a reminder all my housemate are straight, it just the singer name is soo gay. Or is it just me? And me, single and not so available and enjoying myself

Feel like a teenager sometimes.

Confirm (that I'm gay)

2008-02-06T17:48:00.000+08:00

Finally... I've just come back from Pedu damn yesterday with a big relieve, and i woke up today with even bigger relieve. Its not because i'm tired or i'm finally can get out of that blood sucker leech kingdom, but somehow, that few days of expedition to Pedu Damn (and an escape of somewhat) I realized one thing 'bout my self or rather confirming my confused enquiry about myself.

Okay, there is been a big question keep playing in mind regarding my sexuality orientation. Its to know whether I'm gay or bisexual. To be frank i don't like bisexual and i dont like to be one. Few weeks back i keep thinking that I'm becoming something that i hate. Or is it that just a process that some people will experience along the way???

Anyway, finally when i wake up today, i wake up with a pleasant gay-themed dream with a smile. I know, I'm still gay and proud of being one. Keep remembering my friend sexy ass and how much I wanna to kiss that lips of his. It sound like a desperation, but believe me I feel much better thinking like that. Its been awhile since i have a feeling like that and in between (few weeks back) I'm kinda develop a feeling towards women. Even dreaming that I'm having sex with them. And I was like ewwh.I'm gay remember. Its kinda like the feeling of a straight guy have when they dream of making love with another guy. Except in my situation, its the opposite.

I did watch some gay porno, browse some gay guy profile, but it doesnt work.I dont have the kind of feeling that i have now (towards men). And i hate the part where i dream that i'm having a sex with a girl. Right now I think like I'm Nakatsu situation when he found out that Mizuki is not boy (Hanakimi drama). Haha ore-wa homo janaii!! oops i mean ore-wa bisex janaii~~

Oh by the way did i mention about Pedu Damn Expedition and the blood sucker leech kingdom? Well thats another story. (No worries nothing much happen hehe)

finally

2008-01-26T23:32:00.000+08:00

Finally the internet is back. But honestly I really dont know for how long. Hopefully for long time though. Thing with the house has been a little bit complicated though.

And I have unfinished blog to finish. Really not in the mood to finish it. I was supposed to post it last week but as I mention earlier the Internet just back today. Couldn't find the time to post through the lab computer anyway as I was busy entertaint the sophomore with their lab work and gosh the new colleague sometime really piss me off. And just because he older than me, doesn't mean he have to talk arrogantly. Jeez.

Anyhow, with the death of actor Heath Ledger (i'm sure lots of people blog bout it) I cant wait to watch The Dark Knight. I still remember one of his drama "Roar", Celtic kinda themed-drama (it has sparked my interes towards Celtic culture) and it felt like yesterday.

Sayonara Heath Ledger...

what a shame....

2008-01-09T01:31:00.000+08:00

Crazed Fan's Dialogue during Dr. Sheikh Muszaphar @ USM Penang (January 5th, 2008).

Crazed fan: Saya bla bla binti bla
bla, seorang pelajar ilmu pendidikan.
Of course saya nak tujukan soalan
kepada angkasawan kita, Dr Sheikh
Muzasphar (Yeah, right, soalan, it
wasn’t a soalan okay it was a
monologue).

Crazed fan Continued: Saya ingin
mengatakan bahawa saya sebagai bakal
guru akan mendidik anak-anak bangsa
sehingga berjaya menjadi angkasawan
kelak dan mengikuti contoh Dr. Sheikh

Me (starting to get embarrassed): I
looked at my friend who was sitting
down and each of us rolled our eyes
while silently communicating to each
other….. Oh, pleeeasee!

Crazed fan continued on: Saya akan
pastikan mereka akan meminati sains
dan akan menjadi orang-orang yang
berguna. Saya mewakili semua mahasiswi-
mahasiswi di sini …….

Me: Whoaaaa! Just wait a minute there
missy. Just what the hell do you think
you’re doing? Who the bloody hell made
you my representative????
(unfortunately all said in my head)

Crazed fan blabbed on: Saya mewakili
semua mahasiswi-mahasiswi di sini
ingin mengatakan kami berbangga dengan
Dr. Sheikh dan just want to say ………
(drum roll please)….. I LOVE YOU!!!!

Me: WHAAATTT!!! What the hell are you
saying (All of course in my head). I
just really wanted to strangle her.

****************************************

Taken from my friend bulletin. And I was like errgh OMGWTHBBQRST!!!!!!!
What a shame...

void

2008-01-05T01:06:00.000+08:00

Sometimes you cant help but keep feel this "void" feeling inside of you. Feels like something is not complete, part of your life is missing, and you keep wondering what is this missing piece. Its like the void in your heart and it is tranquil but yet its depressing and incompletely empty.

Have yourself a merry little christmas

2007-12-22T17:29:00.000+08:00

finally i got myself a little christmas mood(after i wake up with headache) everyone else were busy talking about christmas shopping, but i guess it gonna be another tuesday for me.

So this year lets go for a classic christmas. ^^

Have yourself a merry little christmas everyone.

Long pause...

2007-12-19T19:21:00.000+08:00

It been awhile, and i've read that on someone blog "that updating a blog is akin to maintaining a long-distance relationship. If you don’t constantly update your partner about the goings-on in your life, things build up and you don’t know where to start." And I couldnt agree more. And my life as usual, chemically thrilling.(and i just found out that my friend blogs too!)

Anyway, if you a football fans, you'll be already know this. The AC Milan and Brazil playmaker hunk, won the FIFA Player of the Year award on Monday. That the best Christmas gift for him this year. Plus he also won the European Footballer of the Year and his wife announced recently they were expecting their first son.

Meanwhile in Ewood Park, England Wenger's boys make it their way into final four in Carling Cup. And I must say, this season Arsenal young gun really look good hahaha. And one of their startlet (his look definitely match his skill...on field of course LOL) non other than ever delicious Cesc Fabregas.

Droolicious eh haha

2007-11-15T22:11:00.000+08:00

This event happen last Sunday, and due to a certain circumstances (no-no i do not have a breakdown or what-so-ever), i didnt manage to post anything that nite. So it begin:

It all comes to this nite 11/11. The meeting with my dream boy. Somehow when it all over, when it time to part, suddenly i was struck by an awfully deep sad feeling. Maybe because I like him. Been knowing him for two years, but this was our first meeting ever since i knew him (part of why i call him my dream boy). I'm sad-perhaps because I want to stay with him longer. Perhaps it because he had someone special waiting for his call. Or maybe this feeling is envy. Because he is everything i wanted to be. Rich (i just assume-and i got my reason) drop deap burning hot gorgeous, an Eurasian. And he has 3 more guys chasing after him. He everything I want to be but couldn't be. No i doesnt feel small or insecure- i just want more. Everyone do want more. Perhaps because he is my dream boy. It kinda a guy that you meet in dream,come and go unexpectedly. Stumble upon him at the least expected time. Fair cherub-like dream boy. ok perhaps the term boy wasnt suit him at all, maybe guy suit him more. And i dont know whether there will be second time.

At this moment, somehow, I hate the "fate" and everything it dictates. Its killing me.

Straight Guy Rhapsody

2007-10-24T18:45:00.000+08:00

Indeed, the day past very fast. LW i agree with u there. absalutely. The thing is, i think i'm still tired from the event that took place last week. Today i woke up late again arrive at the lab quite late, and i dont even know that today is Wednesday (pathetic yes). Not to mention i feel kinda weak and i got the feeling that i'm sick. So i sms this doctor-going-to-be fella asking his advise lor. Well sort of give him pratice how to deal with his future patient hahaha. - which he advise to avoid hot stuff (include hot men)- that i cant guarentee. hahaha.

anyway, last week was a very busy week for me. for some it was raya, and i could smell the chicken curry away (delicious....). As for me i was busy feasting my eyes with lotsa eye candy (eventhou my eyes fixed on one particular guy). okok seriously i was at ICG'07. It was the most hectic and busiest 4 days not to mention tiring days i ever had in my life (so far being a LOC team). I only been away for 4 days but it feel likes a loooooooooooong time. Btw, ICG is a shortform for Inter-Campus Gathering, an event that took place once every two year and held by the each respective diocese (this year it was organized by Penang Diocese). So basicly its a time for all CSS (catholic Student Society) to gather and discuss about certain issue. And ofcourse, its an even for eye candy feast. *wink*wink*
Oh how many times did me fall for straight guy with girlfriend and told ourself no too. Many times and this time i did it again. ok maybe the word fall to much but ... i like this particular guy (and we cant resist cute and burning hot guy rite). I only managed to know his name and the only thing i ever said to him is "Good morning". But then its not like i have the chance to talk to him anyway.Well i know i absalutely cant forget THE guy because i dont want to. Atleast not yet.

After back from ICG i didnt even get a proper rest. The next event, collect more sample for research material and i even have to come to the lab on sunday again. Man this week i really need to rest. Rest assure.

Life so far

2007-10-12T12:01:00.000+08:00

Man finally its a holiday. Hari Raya Holiday, even though some did not get their holiday, its my first holiday as a malaysian plebs. Last few days seem busy (or atleast i make myself busy) doing some test on a subject that i havent get to fully comprehend yet. Atleast not yet. Now I know what it feel to be in the lab from 9-5, not like what i had in my mind. Well i imagine myself sitting infront of the computer doing some data analysis for an oil and gas company, or spend some quality quite time offshore, not in the lab, playing with those chemical stuff. Anyway i just couldnt complain, a job is still a job anyway.

Man... back to life, normal street or not i must say it is very mundane. I mean life isnt drama or sitcom where you get most of your fun from it, but hey it never hurt to play fun once in awhile minus the chemical stuff ofcourse. Ever since i left my chemistry studies since high school, i lost track of which chemical is harmfull which is not although it is a safe bet to be on the safe side. Like few days ago when i'm doing this test, using acid ascorbic, and jokingly i said, "hey we got vitamic C here, anybody want some?" only to get a reply from my friend "if u wanna die early take-lah". Isnt VitaC is harmless (as far as i could remember lah) but hey I still wanna live longer. Speaking bout life, it seem that many people that i know (well not that many just two only) are trying to have a family. Family of their own. Children of their own, i mean are they gonna leave their rainbow life? And it makes me wonder, what would i do if i were in their place, or when i reach their age? Could be i have the same thought like that? I always love kid, but there is but, and i know its not impossible for rainbow-er to have kid, but then i really hate bisexual people (there is reason to it and it doesnt apply to all of them) even though i feel that im a bisexual in the making (sometimes) and i hate that thought...

I've started smoking again-i found a box of Malboro cigarrette(mine it just i forgot wher i've put it) and whoa... I guess i'll just stop after this box is empty

begining of the end

2007-08-18T03:20:00.000+08:00

and now it comes to the end. from the hustle of the final exam to the final procession after we sang the last uni's song and receiving the scroll from Pro-Chancellor. It was all time BIG exhausting event not to mention bored at the same time something that you shouldnt forget for. It been tiring, but it been great. Finally atlast we come to the place where everybody else before us has reached, and we were announced officially that we were GRADUATING. And now we are officially called ex-student of USM, and we no longer using present tense to describe our connection there, only past tense. I was there, I was with that club, I was staying there, it all has become the past tense. And now as we were joining the band of wagon with other graduate throughout the country looking for a job and build a career, it all has become a new path. Now without the walls protecting us, we were making our journey to the world that we never new been before, making our voice heard, and creating a place,name, perhaps even fame for ourself. It all has started now, and i should cut my slacking ass too. I guess it just another begining.

Torn???

2007-07-30T16:59:00.000+08:00

it always hard to forget your love. Even harder if it is your first love. How can i choose my second love if i'm still think about my first. Who ever forget their first love. No one. And that is why it called the first. Some of it might be painful, but there got to be the first.

The road to the first love is hard. Hard enough, but i'm confident that i could have it. Or atleast i have a faith in it. The second love rather less troubled compare to the first, not to say it not hard, but still isnt complicated as the first one. My heart still occupy itself with the many it choices (that i have), but still it cant forget the first one. And that make it hard for me to choose the second.

Good dream gone bad

2007-07-29T02:36:00.000+08:00

i know its so lame, but hey its so me. Man the only thing that awake me from my peaceful dream was my bad dream which is soooo (not lame ) i donno what word to described it. Behold, first i must stated that the definition of bad might varies from one to another, as in my case, it is when something good happen (in dream ofcourse) has gone bad. That all. At the first stage of dream it was nice (well i take it as a sign of a somewhat a brighter future??? hell so lame) has turn into mafia style fighting (oh too much movie). I know, i know, but isnt dream is the realm where our alter-ego (or however the spelling might be and correct me if im wrong) satisfied it or our (wink wink) dark deepest secret that been surpressed by..., hurm i forgot the medical term of it, by our ego (if not mistaken).

But then, it has made me realize, where part of the dream (well u can say it sort of slide show or movie) show few of my frens that i miss them a lot. However most of it comes from my anxiety of looking for job. Most of my friend already land themselves in o&g industry, which is what im looking for and what i really want. Some are still like me, waiting and looking. And some find their calling in other industry. Isnt it good if someone could predict the future so we could prepare for the worst of it. The not knowing part is the hardest part. But still i'm bounded by choices. And those choices are killing me. For every choices will lead to a different circumstances and need me to react differently and need to be solve differently. Some are easy, some are quite hard, and some are quite a longer ways. Should i take the road that less travelled??? Whichever it is i still dont know. For if i ask the people i'm familiar with, i'll keep getting the answer that i already knows.

btw dr paul, thanks for the wish. do continue wish me well eh... and i'm back. (^^)v

Jaded

2007-05-17T16:36:00.000+08:00

whoa............................ its been awhile-and it been really long time since the last time i checked/update my blog. kinda miss it (good old times of blogging times whaha). Been busy with low-paid-slave-job at the moment and i'm jaded! anyway will be graduating this august (hope everything goes as planned-lah)

Yeah kinda tired, but i know since school day i've been living a unhealthy lifestyle (i.e: sleep very late-and ofcourse wake up late,junk food-gotta to keep fit back again)
Gotta change my bio-clock once again and grab back those beauty sleep!

Wish me luck for future job interview (and i havent prepare myself!)

Adios!

Oh crAp! Bridgie

2007-03-31T23:01:00.000+08:00

So today lets write dear diary Bridget Jones wanna be style blogs. Oh wait i havent watch that movie yet, ok wat ever....

Dear bloggy,

today i have a bad day. oh wait define bad day... (Ok) today i go for interview for this one particular company (and i like this f****g company). Since I already describe it as a bad day so anyone can assume how the interview thingy going on lah. And attending the seminar(O&G-field related) after the so watever interview is like a torture. ok enuf. watever motivation console words can relief a broken heart like mine :-* , ~~~sigh~~~~ i just feel so down today. I could have done better, and yet it doesnt went quite well. It feel like u went for ur first date with this particular someone that u like (who-ever, where-eveer that person might be in this world or out of this world) and u got rejected or rather u felt rejected. So i'm kinda sorta sad and down rite now. wat more melancholic word(s) to describe the person who failed hopelessly infront the person that he like. ohkaay wat eva (longoria!!!!!!!!!!!!)

Boohoo! after all didnt i get pain in the ass lesson from any 1 day short coursee to prepare oneself for the interview?

Arg... sometimes ppl just screw up. But this one pain in the asshole big time screw up. okok its not like it the end of the world, it just it take times for us (i.e. me) to like sumone the way u like the other one rite just like before.

yeah yeah so watever am i'm crapping bout now.

ok then baby blogy, i'm gonna just throw up my tantrum to any of the lucky customer. Basha!!!!! Fighting!!!!

And that the end Bridggie Jonie wannabie blogs.

CRaP!! BiG TimeS!

Parting such a sweet sorrow....

2007-03-28T02:28:00.000+08:00

Parting such a sweet sorrow. its been a while since the Nanzan student back to Japan. A few week ago, i would be busy hang out with them, introduce new food, new words, everythig new lah. Almost to sweet to comprehend by word. And as the stars shine at it brightest that morning (4.00am), and Gemini constelation can be seen clearly that nite and with me showing my friend Mariko where her zodiac (Gemini) is that morning. Well that was what happen few weeks ago. Ahh really miss them tho. I guess the other buddies missing them aswell. I'm sure bout that. Especially when we all went to Pusat Bahasa or just pass by or for what ever reason that bring us there, I'm sure that the past memories with all the Nanzan student at Pusat Bahasa will automatically played back in our head. And ofcourse that Monday morning as we all didnt sleep all nite long whether helping them packing up or just playing around with them or exchange sake; in our case (only me and my nanzan group:yuki, mariko & reiko + jacky +buma) stout beer. Kampaii nee. One for safe trip back home to Japan and another one for the cherished memory that will ever last forever.

As we go on with life, parting is inevitable. Whether it just for a short while or long time that we dont know when we would meet again, or whether it parting going to be as we approaching the end of semester, it seems that parting road already lies ahead of us. This evening, we organizing a farewell party to our Lecturer as he will joining the industry and opening his own consultan firm. Another parting event that take place today. Like an excerpt from one of my favourite books, Coral Island by RM Ballantyne, its a classic actually and it kinda long, it said:

"TO part is the lot of all mankind. The world is a scene of
constant leave-taking, and the hands that grasp in cordial greeting
to-day, are doomed ere long to unite for the last time, when the
quivering lips pronounce the word - "Farewell." It is a sad
thought, but should we on that account exclude it from our minds?
May not a lesson worth learning be gathered in the contemplation of
it? May it not, perchance, teach us to devote our thoughts more
frequently and attentively to that land where we meet, but part no
more?

How many do we part from in this world with a light "Good-bye,"
whom we never see again! Often do I think, in my meditations on
this subject, that if we realized more fully the shortness of the
fleeting intercourse that we have in this world with many of our
fellow-men, we would try more earnestly to do them good, to give
them a friendly smile, as it were, in passing (for the longest
intercourse on earth is little more than a passing word and
glance), and show that we have sympathy with them in the short
quick struggle of life, by our kindly words and looks and action."

That was my favourite part of this book.

Well i'm afraid we have to part again. No worries. we still be able to meet again.

Hisashiburi...... Japanese Rhapsody #2

2007-03-02T12:17:00.000+08:00

So here I am,
Sitting here
Staring blindly
Or trying to find for some idea for my pain in the assignment
Which I suppose to finish last nite
But I went back early
Just because it 3.00 am in the morning
It kinda make me spooky
It make me feel very spooky
And the image of The Ring alike monsters keep appear in my head
Damn, why I imagined those thing…
So I got scared, called my friend and ask him to pick me up
Yeah, yeah I know I’m chicken
Damn supersticious!!!!!!
Hontoni kowaii!!!!

So here again I have to finish my pain in the assignment
Sort of tired
I wish I’m on my bed now
No… this time I didn’t imagine things
Somehow I just feel sad
Sort of very sad
Because I know after next week
Those Japanese student will go back home
And I’m sure I’m gonna miss them
Very much….
But I guess for I know I’ll just keep tomorrow problem for tomorrow
Today no tutorial with them
No more laughter during dinner with them
No longer see their weird expression each time we introduced new food to them
Yeah damn hell
I’m gonna miss them much
I think I’m not the only one
I’m sure bout that
I guess I still have one more week to spend with them
=)

Nihonggo no (日本の)Rhapsody

2007-01-20T22:05:00.000+08:00

Its been awhile i didnt update my blogs. Things are getting more bussier than ever. I dunno whether i'll could get enough rest....but life goes on.

I receive a sms from my fren about this student buddy thing that i wanna join. Well lets jump to bottomline, she told me that the registration for student buddy close already. so i cant be one of the wat ever it is. so no jap guys/gals for me. (this student buddy thing will act as a friend and a tutor for the japanese transter student) Sad huhuhu (T.T)I'm so sad since im sort of really excited bout this. sob sob.

i just cant help from feeling very sad bout this. Furthermore my fetish (sound so hentai ne) for japanese thingy(& guy) had developed or rather blooming once again. And as the phone rang which i know who is that person anyway, walking helplessly sad to answer the phone just to get my ear deafen by the high tone of my boss son. Why do they give the phone to their son and let him scream to death to my ears. WTF.

"bla. bla. ok" As I'm trying to make the conversation shorts.

and with the endless pain in the ass-ignment and as a result of sitting infront of the pc for quite a long time, probably i have to wear spec soon and joining the 4 eyes freak club. No offence tho, just i dun want to wear specs or having a contact lens infront of my self-proclaim beautiful eyes.

I'll promise i'll eat more carrots.

Any Given Sunday

2006-12-31T16:32:00.000+08:00

Ok here is it. The last day of the week , the last day of the month, and also the last day of the year. Leaving this day with a big bang, sound like a nice plan also. Its tripple celebration. Sunday Trinity hahaha. A perfect end for a not so perfect year.

So gotta make a new year resolution guys. Tripple new year resolution muahahahaha.

1. Get drunk

2.Get thrown out of da club (seriously)

3.Get laid (muahahahaha pervert!)

Okokokok. Just kidding with the list above. Time to get the ass seriously on something big dont cha think?

1. Graduate. Graduate. Graduate (pass the exam ofcourse)

2.Pass the interview with PGS or any oil related company (hopefully/after graduating ofcourse) <---- high ambition huh

3.Win more Dota ha ha ha.

Till then see ya next year!

world wide wait as they said

2006-12-29T17:27:00.000+08:00

Yesterday being so left behind in the news, my English lecturer telling us that he read in the news, a recent earthquake in Taiwan has cause the undersea cable to broke and it is said it takes at least 2 weeks for them to repair it. And this cause the internet connection speed has slowed down. It is said that the internet connection in Taiwan and Japan had recover to a normal rate but South East Asian region still experience the slow internet connection tho they said the situation been improving. Well when i discuss bout the earthquake with two other my (straight) friend, all that they care "Is JerryC alright. Gotta check his website. Ha Ha." Duh >.< by the way JerryC is a talented Taiwanese composer (he is the one that compose the Canon rock version) not to mentioned he considerably goodlooking as well.
Damn really should read more newspaper these day ha ha.

Speaking bout English class, i have two-well u can say considerable hot-Finlish (how do you call someone from Finland anyway) guy in my class. And the red-haired girl wasn't that bad looking. My first time seeing someone that naturally red head. I mean those that i have seen are fake (coloured), and this one are real. Authentic. You know what i mean. Well there always first time for everything rite.

The Vamp, The Straight, The School, The Huddled

2006-12-23T00:35:00.000+08:00

how fast thing can change unexpectedly. i always told myself to expect the unexpected. tho i still manage to escape from getting hurt to much, but still you can feel the pain.

Last night, after moving two of my boxes only to find that my Harry Potter and Dan Brown book were stolen.Anger, frustration, grieve all mixed into one making me more exhausted than ever. My biological clock ticking faster than before, turning myself into a vampire again, unfinished assignment, the busiest semester i ever had, tho some paper that i took dont have final means 100% course work, but it still make me tired. As i sit next to my friend last night after finish moving my boxes, suddenly i said " I think i gonna quit being a gay!" And he say "what?" Surprised. Though i shall not resist guy like Wang Lee Hom or Drew Fuller for god sake, other than that, it take more effort to make me become gay again. Oh not to forget that super eye candilicous. Plus there was this girl that i found yesterday and she remind me of that Song hye-gyo girl (of Full House and Autumn in my heart) with a Brasilian tanned style skin. Gosh.... Love at first sight? hell no ha ha.... But she definitely gorgeous. Plus i really not in the mood for festive season this year. And my (straight) friend asking me to go clubbing this Christmas. Probably will go for the "Green fairies" . Still two days more for Christmas, i still went around and saying "OMG it Christmas already. I didnt realize it!" The truth is i really didnt realize it. Probably I'm just tired and lonely. Ah I cant believe I'm feel like this. Vulnerable when I think I'm strong. Lonely when i have a lot of people around me. Tired even after i get 8 hours of sleep. Straight when I feel so gay. Wrong when I feel I'm right.

Tired...
Event of motionless...

*********

Love probably didnt come in a box.

but surely one can find it at door step.

Merry Christmas everyone.

A busy start

2006-12-18T15:02:00.000+08:00

Its been awhile i didnt update my blog and look like there is something wrong my chatterbox. Too busy tho to fix it. i guess it already serve it purpose and it time for it to be remove ha ha. And ofcourse i didnt forget bout my senior JL, just how to contact you? LOL. I have few of graduated friend ofcourse.

Today is the first day of the semester, and the first class of the day is already canceled.Is this is a good thing or what. Anyhow it gonna be a damn busy semester. Few of my coleague are quiting their job already, hmm i wonder why it something bad always happen when something good is on the run. I mean i'm gonna miss my coleague la. Anyway as the school start i guess i not gonna think much about it. Furthermore its going to be a busy semester indeed. But surely this will happen he he...

p/s: a picture of my junior. He is cute isnt he? hehe

Open out/Black out Day

2006-12-04T22:01:00.000+08:00

I really need a break. This even more tiring than the KL trip last week. I thought today gonna be my open day, as in telling my colleague who am i really am. I know i know why the sudden rush or should i just keep the secret. But i think last night he really knew about it, but still he keep it quite and act as everything is normal, which i am very grateful for that. But still it the second time he, err how to put it... catch me? But the word catch wasnt appropriate for this kind of situation, hmm really cant think of a suitable word which indicate i need a proper rest and need to study my English more hu hu (T.T). But as i planned to tell it today, another thing happen. It did cause some sort of disturbance in our normal routine day, black out! So we have to close for awhile tho, but still there are a little incident behind the scene sigh, but because of that everything turn up side down. Not literally, so it really such a crap. Looks like i have to find another proper time to tell him. Sigh.....

KL Dawn

Another thing when i check my blog today, honestly I'm surprised when i saw the comment leave by JL. Hmm another surprise!!! And he describe the whole event accurately, the booth, the event, the deco. Whoah, lucky no heart attack. I turn that i found another of his comment on Dr. Paul's blog. Hmm Straight guy dont read his blog rite, and as far i'm concern, only "partner in rainbow crime" read this crap blog hehe. So JL (Jason Lo, ohh or Jennifer Lopez hehe, or Jennifer Love) no offence just kidding, hehe. Not as a participant, probably speaker for presentation, LOL or i might even walk past him without me or he himself notice it or probably he is one of the people i speak with at the booth.Come to think of it, I didnt visit much booth thou i manage to get quite a number of name card ha ha. CGG, Schlumberger,Petronas, Veritas,most of the big name that I've ever heard are not on my list of booth that i visited.Just went to the less heard company one. I.e Talisman (that remind me of Dota ofcourse), PGS, Fugro, etc etc. Hey i got talisman umbrella, for being the first visitor hehe. But whoever is he, he is my sempai, and i should give a full respect to my sempai. Who knows he might be the one who interview me ha ha. Such a small world. Oh if u reading this i'm fine thank you.

I'm back...

2006-12-03T01:25:00.000+08:00

The trip to kl was tiring and i didnt expect the Geo-conference turn to be that great.Well been thinking a lot before went to the conference and all, i guess i worried too much even before the thing has happen. I think its a good platform for student to get close to the industry and to get to know their future employee, and since we located so far in the northern part of this country it is a chance that any student shouldn't let go.

The conference indeed is fun, and it turn to be more than i expected. Ofcourse there were talk and booth of various company for us to visit, but i thought it would be 80% old geezers talking bout this and that.(One of our lecturer paper was presented on the 1st day.) I guess i'm wrong then, the conference was full of young people and not to mention some of them are hot indeed.Some of them are really hunk and i couldn't believe it, to think that there is hot G in the industry ha ha. By the way G is initial for those who work in the industry such as D for Doctor, E for Engineer. Ha ha i think if the conference were to be held longer, i think my eye would be "rosak" already. There are consider a lot of eye candy, not to mention some of them are in HR department, so i guess it an important task to woo-ing them haha. Just kidding...

What make the the whole conference thing more better is the presence of a very enjoyable friend to hang out with. It would be a boring event if it wasnt because of that particular person(him ofcourse). I must admit being a super senior wasn't fun at all, but the sporting junior has made it all more merrier. Well ofcourse we have to be friendly in the first place ha ha. Oh by the way, as i expected there is people been talking abut me. I wanna say bad-mouth-ing or kutuk me but it were quite true aswell. I admit that i've been a bit of lalai or being a bit irresponsible in my task as the V.P of this particular club, but hell i dun care that much, probably i shouldnt put it on my resume but i think i've got a bad impression from certain lecturer. Argh!!!! Anyway i still got one more semester to prove that they are wrong and kick their ass. Can i? (My confidence a bit shattered)

Anyway i managed to buy the book that i've been lookin for. Just read a few chapter and i glad that i bought the book. Will talk bout it again once i finish read the book. (however the book quite thin? so i think i'll finish it in short time)

Ahh so tired, and feel a bit sleepy. I guess i stop here tho. Alfie-chan thanks for accompany me hehe. Really enjoy it. alfie-chan ありがとう!!

"Fuck nice..." (2nd)

2006-11-24T20:09:00.000+08:00

I got headache now and the panadols that i've taken doesnt help either. Too many things on my mind. The ass-signment, trip to KL this Sunday, err what else..? Hurm hurm....i dont know; certainly a lots of thing in my mind at the moment and it seems I can't think straight. Hell yeah did i forget that i'm gay? LOL. The trip to kl doesnt seem to excite me, well there are nothing much to excite about honestly, just a conference where we can meet our future employer; which make me wonder how soon can i join this forces of evil err... workforce i mean. And i doubt i will have fun either. Well dont want to be so skeptic about all of this but hey it just can't be helped. (And i dont know what im ranting about honestly) I really should get my ass (or dick) a life! But until that time to come i'll sit here in the dark(exaggerating) alone and wait for that time to come and say "Fuck nice..."

"Fuck nice...."- Debbie Grassi

2006-11-19T10:21:00.000+08:00

Well for those who been watching QAF or big fan of it, they perhaps familiar with this quote by Debbie Grassi. Well she say this on one of her finest moment (as told by friend and i dont remember which scene). What i'm trying to say here is ever since i finish my exam, about a week ago; 5 days to be exact, i been like sort of lost or rather empty.I know, I know, i should be in celebration mood right now, but it just that i feel it just not right or something has lost and i need to fine what ever it is to make me feel complete. Love? Oh please, it is not bout that, it is something else. Purpose or perhaps it is because I been surrounded by graduated people looking for job. Well me myself suppose to join that big band of job seeker myself, but since i havent fullfill and have to repeat some bloody-susah-nak-mampus paper,I guess I have to past that moment and I have one more semester to go! I hope. On the other hand I do feel that i'm not ready. Urgh!! I really hate those feeling. I hate school! I hate exam! Damn such pain in the ass. And i cant wait for the moment where I'm gonna say "Fuck nice...".

By the way, I've hit the lowest of all time testosterone! And really no mood for sex.
I should get a life!Damn i hate "it" when it happen to me! Anyway i dont know how to define IT here.....Anyone got any idea?

The "Un-" series

2006-11-12T18:55:00.000+08:00

I woke this afternoon, once again unmotivated, planning to go to library but i'm so lazy to move my ass. And the un-xxx week for me especially after my remote sensing paper. Un-motivated(ofcourse),un-well(luckyly i didnt fell sick),un-gay(urgh please come my SUPER GORGEOUS EYE CANDY customer),and un-enthusiastic, almost for everything(blogs,mail,chat,irc,etc). Argh where had the b***h (muse) gone? Exam sure makes people go crazy! Still one more paper to go.And for the past 3 days i've been doing nothing but more gaming.sigh. And when i arrive in work place i found someone installed RO in one of the pc!!!!!Damn! feel like wanna play again after quiting RO long time ago.
On my way, i could see the water vapor evaporating to the cloud above it, probably from the sea or it just merely lower cloud's particle, moving upward and creating a larger forgot what name cloud. It going to rain and it wont be just a shower.i could hear the sound of thunder. and i hate it. Guys are likely 4 times higher to struck by a lightning compare to gals. And since most students finish their exam already, leaving uni like a ghost town. Not many people around, and even if there people around they must be siting infront of their study table, reading, memorising formula, deriving equations etc. etc. I wish i could pick up their brain and i wont have much trouble doing my exam. Probably if i could perform the "mind transfer jutsu" (Naruto influence) to one of the brainy student, it would be great muahaha!

Argh such a pain in the ass!

"Spell of Schizo"

2006-11-03T22:35:00.000+08:00

i did the unthinkable. went dota day before my exam where i should put my effort on studying. and what more crazy was, i searchin for a spell (think of Charmed or Harry Potter i u had to)and eventually i did found one. A spell that to make u pass the exam and a spell that boost up ur confident level. But i modified a bit and make it more ryhme, atleast to what i can think for suit the first line.
muahahaha. i think the door of tg rambutan open wide for me hahaha

One

2006-10-30T17:39:00.000+08:00

The will is strong, but my flesh begging for more weekend off. I guess working during holiday kinda make me exhausted, both physically and mentally. not to mention an event that change your life forever. Infact every event that happen change our life. Which directions we are going to take nexts. It's been 3 weeks since the fatefull morning i might say, and life would be much different if it does not happen.

Yeah, every single things that happens in our life (my life actually) wether getting a cute greeting sms or e-mail from the very best old friend (smiled), meeting new people, a 'fight' with customer (believe me i'm such a pain-in-the-ass cashier-boy muahaha) or even the song that touched your heart or an anime that really make u laugh for the whole day, it really give an effect to our daily life wether we notice it or not. Ok i might my say my mood a bit mellow (morelikely a mixed between sorrow and joy), but when a SUPER GORGEOUS customer enter just now, with that blur innoncent looking of him looking for a person in charge -me-since i didnt sit at the front desk- i say to myself:"God please make me gay again"

It doesnt take an Einstein's brain to guess what he wanted which i hope more than a printing service *evil smile*. Purposely taking the thumb-drive with my palm so my hand can touches his hand-same trick when i hand over the thumb drive again-and re do the setting of the printer so he can stay next to me longer-all it takes to enjoy short moment with him. And when he ask for the price, instead of saying kiss me and you'll get it f-o-c.i said "20cent" and give him that puppy eye and cutey smile to him. Watching him went out to the door before he disappear from my sight, i told myself this is kind of guy that i would like to fall in love at first sight (lost my word here). It such a sweet feeling, and it takes only one person to do so.

There are 6 billion people in this world. 6 billion souls. And sometimes, only 1 person that would change our life completely.

When It Falls Apart....

2006-10-22T21:53:00.000+08:00

"Tell (me) what do you do when it all falls apart
Gotta pick myself up, where do I start
Cause I can't turn to you when it all falls apart"

dunno where it all starts
and i believe in your words
i think to myself, am i a fool?

when it rain it pours
i'm confuse, issit a blessing or is it crying on behalf of me?
Tell (me) what do you do when it all falls apart...

viande morte

2006-10-14T21:55:00.000+08:00

ok lets face it, im a dead meat.viande morte!
last friday test, i know i'm a dead meat.
yay! lets roll on the floor and dance like an old perv out of his med!
one more to go.
and you failed one!
oh who gives a fuck!

Shit happens

2006-10-09T22:58:00.000+08:00

Just b4, i feel so unmotivated, but now im just mad, geram. Do i jump back into how i feel just now, so i can write the same thing? Urgh, i feel like wanna bite the button that has make my life shittier. oh god! This post was suppose to be something nice (atleast better than this) urgh...............

and the radio just so boring. they keep playing the same song every hour! 50 minutes of non stop music and for the next 50 minutes they are playing the same fucking song!!!!!! the only thing that keep me listening to that radio station (apart from the radio is quite far from where i sit and i'm just too lazy to move my ass) is their super hot DJ.

Hot DJ!

Hot enough to cool me down.^^!

Gotcha!

2006-10-08T16:16:00.000+08:00

My friend m@d-d0gZz and matt complaining about into another dimension thing. Well u right. so lets move on to calculus then. can u solve it like this?

Lust

2006-10-07T15:14:00.000+08:00

I dont know why, but today i feel i just wanna dissapear into another dimension.Or atleast make me invisible.Put me somewhere but here. Six feet under, burn me in the desert, or chill me at the artic cold. Or fly me to a place full of Bavarian's people.

And then come the lust.................................
for a beer, chocolate, grilled chicken, fried pork, french fries, BigMac, oh yah it include wine. I'm just thirsty.

Someone bring me a glass of beer please!

Dream Rhapsody

2006-10-02T20:45:00.000+08:00

Last weekend was like a dream.Today when i wake up, i feel like i'm back to real world(u r indeed in a real world, dreamer!). And i hate the feeling. Feels like everything so wrong, feels like you witness something so horrible like a murder or something.Feel so unlucky. Yeah i'm the supersticious one, like MyLuckyStar said. Perhaps wrong side of the bed. i hope so. I hate it when it starts with a good dream and end with bad dream. Yeah shit does happen. Could it be any shittier????? And I wake up late today, very very late(5.30pm!)And I sleep late too.Dun ask bout class.

Luckily you (MyLuckyStar) wasn't any part of my dream, even good ones. Because if u are, i defenitely wont meet you again.And i'm glad that u r part of real life. And i hope you stay a bit longer(^^). Oh please listen to this song.

MyLuckyStar

2006-09-29T21:51:00.000+08:00

I'm thinking off posting another thing, but i change my mind, well lets say i'll keep it or maybe i'm just too lazy to wite bout it. As this morning i didnt sleep again and i'm a bit reluctant to go to class especially it start at 8.00am. Gosh i couldnt wake up if i were sleeping. Anyway it is an English class, remember my English lecturer i told about? yeah his class. And ofcourse being late to the class the only seat that available is front seat. Well what ever, another good view (actually it really a VERY damn good view). Trust me when i say it, but ofcourse i have to control myself so it wont be so obvious that i'm staring at him (my lecturer). I realize that he has a very nice kiss-able lips. Smooth and erm.... not so gorgeous but i bet that lips is worth it i mean for u to kiss ha ha *smooooch*. i wish i have a cam-phone.Oh today he wearing that Brokeback-ish shirt again!

Damn i'm so tired rite now, thank god no customer tonight. It been a tiring week. Especially on Wednesday. The nightmare starts from that day. The Sophomores are busy talking bout their interview with Petronas, while some final year students are excited about an interview with Schlumberger. Not to mention another pain-in-the-ass-ignment. Well have to dig back all the old books and notes bout well log, geology and seismic especially. Yeah, without seismic we are zero!

Well enough bout school.

Lately, i've met a lots of my old friends virtually through fs. So it kinda bring back all the sweet memory during sweet age. However, what more important is today i receive a message in my fs, and it from someone that is so dear to me someone that i called MyLuckyStar in mh hp directory.A friend that i know during my matriculation. Well too short for love but too deep for fling. As the semester ends (during my matriculation) so do our relationship. Well....on the very last day i was there, i lost my phone for god sake! And we lost contact. However today, because the LadyLuck perhaps, he accidentally find me and msg me. Chatted for awhile (or replying each other msgs actually). To be honest there are times that i think of him and miss him ha ha. But that was kinda long time ago. But who knews what future might holds for us. So it's good to get in touch with u back sunchine! Really is.........

My baby....

2006-09-22T18:38:00.000+08:00

Not really mine actually. As there was not really much customer, so i can spend my time surfing the net. It's been awhile i didnt check my friendster. So make it short, as i browsing through my friend list, i come across this pic of my friend. At first i thought that was her new-born cousin or new-born niece or nephew. As i explore more the pic actually her own baby! Aww....... so cute. Really miss all my friends. And the pic, you can feel the joy. Unexplainable but it give u the happy feeling.
Suzy, sorry for posting your ur baby Isaac (what a beautiful name too) picture here without your permission he he(but like i let u know bout this blog he he)Maybe i'll post in my friendster's blog too...

Back to the future (or past)

2006-09-21T16:34:00.000+08:00

sometimes i wish to live in the stone age where technologies not available yet. Well to be precise i'm pretty annoyed with some tech today except for the pc and internet infront of me ofcourse. Ah well maybe i'm tired (i sleep less than 2 hour today!. But work still work. Luckyly today no class.

Anyway thanks to kyle for entertaint me with your comments ha ha.
Matt you can just leave comments on the chatbox lah.

zzzZzz.....................

Better late than never

2006-09-20T15:37:00.000+08:00

I was late to my English class today. I wonder what are they doing as i peek from outside before i enter the class. Being late to class i have no choice but to sit infront. Very close to my lecturer table. Well i can put my eye on this ah mong lecturer.

Speaking bout him, i remember one day he wore the boxes shirts (the one my ex English teache called maths shirt) and he really look like a Brokeback actor. Not that he look like Jake or Heath Ledger (i wish) but the appeareance was too Brokeback-ish. You know what i mean, the whole class i'm thinking of Jake Gyllenhaal. But i think the lecturer is straight. Definitely. Atleast i think lah.

Back to my class- i have been skipping quite many of his classes or 3 classes i think. Anyway during today class as everyone else busy-ing writing an essay, i just cant stop myself from examining his good parts. He was sitting so no special view there ( you know what im talk about ) ha ha. Luckyly i still manage to finish mine aswell. Ha ha i guess better late than never (especially when you have to sit infront and your lecturer is an eye candy).

And i found my antidote today

2006-09-19T16:11:00.000+08:00

Its kinda a bad start today, and im still tired. Lack of rest and not enough sleep as usual i went to my bed around 6.00am today. I spend a few minutes outside, just to see the night-sky before the day. Its so beautiful.... I was amazed even just for awhile.
Like i say today was bad start, and i'm a bit reluctant to go to class which is i thought this class which is ok for me to skip, but it was the other one, the one that i should attend (based on subject difficulty). I was still on my bed when my boss call me and ask me to cover him for awhile at my workplace. I was half awake at that time, so it not so hard for me to control my voice.

"I have class now" I lied. "I'll be there after my class finish. Ok." So i lied back on my bed, i still got 60 minutes more for my to enjoy my "beauty sleep". Finish my bath, taken my lunch, i set myself to my workplace. Still tired thou, with my (almost) panda eye.

Today kinda busy. During my time it always busy and i couldnt help myself. *yawning*
But luckyly i found my antidote. There was this guy (my customer) and he kinda hot! Atleast there is something for me too see. I think he is from chemistry school. Yeah he sure give me the "chemistry" today.

Fat Rhapsody (Saturday Morning)

2006-09-16T10:21:00.000+08:00

Fat fat fat. Everyone hate fat. Hate of becoming overweight. Tell me who enjoy being fat? But what most annoying is fat people attitude. I hate to mention it and it really against my policy to talk bad bout other people (unless they did something curseable to me) but i guess i can give myself an exception on this. I'm not that nice. They (fat people) such a negative energy bringer. You could feel the aura of negativity when they enter the atmosphere. I admit not all are like that-as they can be cheery and playful (gross). However, im not going to give them any credit, atleast here. I could give you a few examples.

1. If u a fan of The Apprentice, you'll see there is one overweight, sharp tounge, think he is right fat ass lawyer.Nobody in his team enjoy his company. Seriously.He couldnt get along with anybody. He was fired on the 3rd or 4th week. I couldnt remember it. But i remember this line: "Brent, you're fired," said Trump. "Out. Over. Go!"

2. Well it is fine cool Saturday morning as me and my colleague starts the bussines. (Well our boss trust us to do the opening). Guess what, our first customer is fat, fat, and fat. Being so out and loud in this peaceful morning. Shut up! Have anyone told you that silence is golden. Well from the first glimpse i already know what kind of person he is and its proven. Think he knows it all bla bla.

3. Huh do i need to mention more???? I think is enough liou.

Well perhaps i'm a bit tired,not enough sleep, lack of rest that cause my sensor to become over sensitive this morning. Well this is beautiful Saturday morning, and I shouldnt bother myslef with it anymore. More to come as it still early. Hopefully it will ends beautifully too, just like this morning that i had.

To wear or not to wear....

2006-09-11T21:03:00.000+08:00

as we walk home last night, talking nonsense except for our BIG losing today, at one point i ask one of my friend-since he love sms-ing with various girls that he woo-ing, "what are you gonna do with them? What benefit did you got?" said me-ofcourse what i mean is you still havent fuck the girl.

He replied "We'll take it slow and easy buddy. I'll get it but not here."

Sorry this definitely straight thing, so no homosexual jokes gonna be said here. Ha ha. As sex definitely an interesting topic to talk about. Always. So we come to the part wether to wear condom or not. And me ofcourse insisting on using condom espeacially for one night stands. Hey for safety reason right, and both of my friend saying that condom making the sex feel less sensation.

"Well thin condom are available on market now. So it wont effect the feeling or the sensation" said me.

"No, Josh it still got different. You dont know bah" said one of ma friend.
(at this point, deep in ma mind i say- how would you know i dont have any experience. Eherm... my dirty little secret!)

Well i still insist that " No, it doesn't effect that much what. You still can enjoy the sex"

"Later you kena AIDS baru tau"

Another friend say "Who ask you to fuck a bitch. That one ofcourselah will got AIDS one."

"We go for virgin lah" the other said.

"How do you know they virgin or not?" -if they were virgin, they wont give it easily. Only bitch do that.

"We check-lar down there" Ha ha, the three of us laughing.

As we almost reached our hostel, three of us lost into another dimension. Each one of us with whatever thing in our mind.Upon our conversation, to be honest i'm kinda shock because both of them do not know the important of safe sex or atleast the need of 'it'. In this contect of conversation-condom. When i read the article about the knowledge of young Malaysian regarding this issue (in Axcest) i wasn't sure about it justifiable. It is hard to believe that despite all the effort especially done by the local NGO and goverment aswell doesnt reach our youngsters!

Gosh this trully terrifying. No wonder AIDS spreading almost exponentially in Asia. Perhaps it sound like i'm exaggerating, but it never hurt to be on safe side.

I guess only the enlighten knows. (Smile to Derek ^___^)

Azzurri, my love......

2006-09-09T19:43:00.000+08:00

I was watching Carrie Underwood video music when a customer approach me which i tot at 1st she wanna pay.

Customer: Excuse me, do you got bathroom(restroom) here. I need to use bathroom. Thanks.

Me: Yeah sure. You can use the bathroom at the barber shop there (place where i'm working is same level with the barber shop)

and i show her where the bathroom. She still hesitated to go because she dont know that my place and the barber shop share the same restroom (you see the place where i work only use half of the place-the other half belong to the barber shop).

She ask the people in the barber shop

Customer: Can i use the bathroom here? The (pointing at me)...

I guess people at barber shop cant speak English (the customer actually a Caucasian with a kinda cute slang-British actually)

Me: Dia nak pakai tandas.

Oooo... they just nodded their head.

So she do her thing and me back to my job.

Few mins later she aproach me back (after she finish do whatever she need to do) i was still listening to Carrie with headphone ofcourse i wasnt realize she was at my back. She trying to call me few times before i realize she is there.

"I wanna pay" she said.

And i was like "oh ok. I'm sorry. I didnt realize you were there."

I went to the counter "emmm RM5.80 total."

She checking her purse-taking out 4 RM1 notes, looking for somemore notes.

" I only have RM4" she looking at me and trying to give RM50 notes.

"Sorry i dont have small changes" as I'm staring at the cash box. I know it not enough for her change.

"Oh.. i have an idea, why dont i check my coins. Let we see" she saids.

Taking a small transparent plastic from her bag, which is almost full of coins. Finally she manage to get two 50cent coins and four 20cent coins. Allright it enough.

Before she when back, i have a chat with her.She actually an Italian, studying in Britian before and now she is doing her Phd on what subject-i dont know, i didnt ask her. No wonder her English is so purfect. As i ask her bout her national football team which is lost to France 3-1. Oh no my Azuri, what has happen to you. But atleast the won the World Cup. We both sad with the lost,since I am an Italian supporter too! But well as she said "At least they wont World cup"

And i just replied back with a smile, watching her went to door before she vanished from my eyes. Yes indeed, atleast they won (World Cup).

I think i just like my job more and more.

Deja-vu

2006-09-08T21:06:00.000+08:00

I thought i came to work kinda late today-i forgot that i set my watch 10 mins earlier than normal times. Well i always can surf the internet first before i start my work.

It kinda weird,and i dont know why-i feel a bit lost today.Maybe because I sleep very late last nite. Or to be precise i sleep this morning and spend ma whole day sleeping. So unlikely people of this side of the world. This week it seem that i'm back into my old vampiric lifestyle. More bloody nites, more merciless killing, more winning streak. Ha ha.

So while waiting, i open my msn and see who online. It 6 pm something on this side of the world and not many people online or put busy/away on their status (whatever).
Browse punya browse, i saw this friend (Martin of Quantum Entanglement-correct me if the spelling is wrong)and i click on him and start our conversation. It roughly like this lor as i can recall it

Me: Hi

Martin:Hi, how r ya?

Me: Fine thank you. but i feel kinda lost into another dimension today.

Martin: Why? I'm bout leaving to work

Me: Wrong side of the bed i guess.
Oic okok. <---at this time i still forgot that he actually on the other side of the world

Me(again):Do u believe that there is other us in (at this point i reget i didn't save our conversation just now) another dimension? Just like in the tv series The Sliders

Martin: In modern physics there is possible another universe. I wish i could go into dimension where im rich.

Me: Ha ha. Everybody wants thats. Yup, its possible. Stephen Hawking did say so( he actually writes an essay bout possiblity of another universe-i think in his book Baby universe and other essay)

Still me: Hey do you have any cool website? I'm bored here. (at this time more customer coming and my boss ask me to do something)

Martin:Let me see. Wait ok....
why dont you try Digg.com. They usually put something new there.
Ok i gtg to work now. Nice chatting wif you.

When i'm back he already signing out and I still havent thanks him yet.(Thank you)

At this time i do thinks that there are other us in other dimension, and sometimes dream is a window where we can see what other us is doing. Thats why we been meeting someone that we dont know, places we never been before in our dream. Hmm i guess i'm a bit lost today and i feel sort of deja-vu(a friend of mine once told me it is cause by tiredness)

Oh there is a story that i wanna share, but i still cant find any proper words or still dont know how to put it into a word that can really speak my mind. Save it for another times perhaps.

Lost- still isnt a perfect situation

the prelude

2006-09-03T22:53:00.000+08:00

Don't cry because it is over, smile because it happened!

this is wat written on the poster: "Let no one who loves be unhappy, even love unreturned has its rainbow." - James M. Barrie

to the man that i love

2006-08-31T17:15:00.000+08:00

Today's blog is dedicated specially to the man i love.This excerpt is taken from my favourite manga, Bleach. Pay attention to this line as quote by Orihime Inoue; "I wish i could live life 5 times over......and for those 5 times..."

"watashi-wa hontouni daisuki-desu"

Rainy day....

2006-08-30T23:45:00.000+08:00

There are a lot of things that i wants to write here or thing that i wanna share today.
But lets keep it for another day.
Wasnt in a good mood just now(made me lost interest to blogging), merdeka blues perhaps, however with a simple smile of someone special, i shall end my day today with a smile too!
Yesterday, when i read the newspaper there was one article that captured my attention. The topic? Global warming. I guess the debates about global warming still goes on and on(in a hot and full of rage manner). Still (we) the earth scientist community haven't truly bother about this issue.-i guess i shall give my comment on this, but not now-
It's merdeka eve now....

Rainy day,good smile, good song(background music ha ha)

"Beginnings are usually scary and endings are usually sad, but it's everything in between that makes it all worth living."

zzZzZzz

Love season

2006-08-29T21:49:00.000+08:00

Just like the comment i left for kyle, everywhere i go, i sense lots of love blossoming or rather my love sensor has become extra-sensitive. I dont know why but perhaps i envy them. Am i??? Sometimes me myself dont know the answer and refuse to know it. Such a melancholic act. Still i rather be melancholic than thinking of those shiity images that still resides my mind.

I guess i better back to study.

Bad morning-inhuman Rhapsody

2006-08-29T19:16:00.000+08:00

OMG i still hardly forget the incident that happen this morning. Well lets start it the usual way, I woke up unexpected early this morning, since i slept quite late last night-after finish Dota-ing with my fren, we went back and have a chat in my friend's room and went to my bed around 2.30am. It turns that when i woke up (around 6.00am-why the hell i wake up that early) they haven't sleep yet. Well two of them already lying on bed, while the other two still playing computer games.(yeah we are such a gamers freak! LOL) Bout the time i went to their place, both of them already finish another stage of Need4Speed(MW). So i take the turn to browse through my friend porn collection (straight-since all of them is straight and nobody know i'm a controversial, you know what i mean). Yes it early in the morning, well i not only browse for porn, still got other funny video clip inside, to cheer up your morning. So here it come the best part, my friend name the video (porn) with an artiste name, since he got some collection of a porn of some perverted artiste, so i click lah on this so-call artist and the windows media player window pop up-and then come this f**k asshole video of a man slaughter another guy throats! OMG, i would never expect my peaceful morning were disturbed by a such inhuman video. Still barely forget bout it, and my brain work it best to erase such image from my head. Some thing are better forgoten, gosh!!! BullshiT. The whole morning i try to forget it.

The rest of the day, i just lied back on my bed, luckyly it rain in the afternoon, the coldness makes my eyes become sleepy so i take my mid-day nap longer than usual.

Oh last night, finally i can lepas my geram Dota-ing. It been awhile, luckyly some skill still not rusty yet. (to be honest we lose the 2nd game to some bunch of noobs, 1st game we hardly win) But come to final games when all teamate are heated up (notes:two of my friends have fight, just by word lah) we really kicking ass. Isnt it good to be on the winning team haha.

p/s:someone please bang my head so i can get temporary amnesia-so i can forget this filthy inhuman image!

Finally...well atleast

2006-08-28T18:50:00.000+08:00

Sigh, the whole day (well not really lah since 4.00pm) i been repairing and reconstruct my blog. A bit tired and sakit kepala!!! I thought i'll drop by at the place where i work but it turn i have to jaga the place for awhile. I dunno whose turn now but obviously nobody is around and my fren (who do the opening in the morning) want to go back already. Look like the trip turn to be longer than expected. Anyway still can surf for free haha. Just now have a chat with friend customer and we chat bout Dota. Man since i started this job it been awhile i went Dota-ing with my friends. Miss it much.

Oh to the Searcher, congrats for earn a new title the Searcher-nomore haha. Ok will look at your comment (including kyle's). And kyle, safe journey =p. I tot u went to local uni.

Cheers.

p/s: cant stop thinking bout that guy.Thinking of meeting him later. hope my boss will arrive shortly, u know what, i've just finish watching a video klip (or watever it name) title: Slut and the City. So funny, no offence to the Sex and the City. Cant wait for the Desperate Housewives version. I wonder how it could be. =p

Damn!

2006-08-27T15:15:00.000+08:00

Now i have to re-do back my link! Damn it.

Hip dun lie......

2006-08-27T13:56:00.000+08:00

I have a nice sleep last nite, but unfortunately have to wake-up early today. (i hate to wake up early esp. on Sunday. BTW im not a church goer anymore) Before i went to work, i stop by at Dewan Budaya-to see the launching programme of YnCr Radio by MassCom School. Hey, would not let go a chance to see leng chai there. I heard mass com student have quite a lot of gay other than bio school. hehe Oh i got terserempak with that Chan Kwok Fai guy (guest artiste) on my way haha. He look pretty ok =p.

oh anyway this is wat i'm trying to write last friday:

Keep it Simple Idiot:

Hmm, i keep thinking bout my drop-water-face presentation.
If it were an American idol , this is what Simon gonna say bout it Totaly,utterly useless! I dun understand what the heck you are doing! Yeah really. I sould learn a lesson from last week the Aprentice. Keep it simple, idiot! Damn i should learn my lesson! Anyway there is one presentation that really interesting and capture everybody attention. I forgot the name of my fren who make the presentation, but her topic is indeed and simple. Damn me kena lagi! Her topic Crush vs Break up. haha. I just gonna give 13 sign of falling in love. I got this from her. here we go

13. When your on the phone with them late at night and they hang up... but you miss them already when it was just two minutes ago

12. You read their texts over and over again...

11. You walk really slow when you're with them...

10. You feel shy whenever you're with them...(i dun agree with this though)

9. When you think about them, your heart beats faster and faster...

8. You smile when you hear their voice...

7. When you look at them, you can't see the other people around you... all you see is him/her...

6. You start listening to slow songs, while thinking of them...

5. They become ALL you think about...

4. You get high just from their scent...

3. You realize that you're always smiling to yourself when you think about them...

2. You would do anything for them...

1. While reading this, there was one person on your mind the whole time.....

yup that it.

=====================================================================

Back to present day:
Pretty much like that. Feel quite bored now, luckyly the radio play plenty of good song today. Hmm, i wonder why my mind did not thinking of that guy? Yesterday i cant stop thinking bout him during yesterday seminar. Still missing him though. =p

[slb^m|ss|ng^sum1] =p

tiring day....

2006-08-26T19:24:00.000+08:00

I wrote this blog last nite, but im too exhausted to continue and publish it

Its been tiring day today, and i havent got enough rest. After finish the so-called BTN-the most boring seminar u'll ever attend-dun know what they craping about. Never-the-less we still have to attend it because it is a requirement for u to enter my uni. After the seminar finish i went straight to work(part-time). Luckyly now no customer (maybe because it holiday already) so i can relax awhile and takes this time to write something. =yawning=

Last nite i try to post a blog, but dunno somehow i cant post a thing. It say it doesnt connected to blogger.com. Internet problem i guess. Damn, i'm trying to post something nice last night.

I'm quite bored right now, and i just couldnt help myself going crazy thinking bout -ehem-

blessed ?

2006-08-24T17:41:00.000+08:00

i've been running into kinda plenty of leng chai today. Leng chai indeed. Bump into kinda a lot of good thing today. At first i feel blessed, as the sun going to her rest place in the west, i feel the opposite indeed. If good thing happen why i still feel like something is missing or incomplete. "The worst feeling you'll ever feel is sitting next to the person who means the world to you knowing that you mean nothing to them." That all i can say, eventhough i doesnt tell the whole picture of how do i feel now, but part of it is half right (true isnt appropriate in this context). but i guess maybe im just tired.

Big TESTis tomorrow!

Another interesting video

2006-08-23T20:06:00.000+08:00

I found this interesting video. it's kinda sad (the story line) but the message is mainly about AIDS.

Cinderella's Rhapsody

2006-08-23T17:59:00.000+08:00

Yesterday was quite bored as i wake up late and I'm late for my class. However the past few day (except yesterday) and today aswell I tend to wake up as early as 6.30am. One of the reason is because my room is near to cafe.So each time they start operating at 6.30am (cooking,cleaning etc) especially when they start cooking (esp when they cook anchovies) the smell enter my room and made me hungry and couldnt sleep anymore.*sigh* i've been eating a lot since this semester and in this new room, still some ppl said I'm getting thinner. Wait till you see my tummy haha.

As yesterday was boring and since it school holiday, there are plenty of of nice show around (on tv lah).So my evening was plenty with some good kid show.And one of it was Cinderella.I cant believe I still watch that **** fairy tale especially when I'm anti-stupid. Stupid in that sense.So unrealistic, and well you know it a fairy-tale-happily ever after. Piaks! LOL

Despite the stupidity (or stupidness), in my mind i still thinking ,isn't it everybody dream to meet, fall in love and then married and lived happily ever afterwith their prince charming. Am i right? I still remember what the Prince Charming said to Cinderella in the end of that story.He said " And I give you everything I posesed. My crown, my hand, and my heart." Ouch so romantic hahaha! I wish (everyone do) i could meet someone and say the same thing to me. I wont turn back and and 'married' her (or should i be more frank, him!). I guess deep inside of everyone heart that they could meet their prince charming someday (yes especially me)

It is still dark outside there.7.00 am in the morning. I wake up at 6.30am as i mentioned earlier. I like the envinrontment at this time. Still so quite and calm ( i guess the cafe start late this morning). People said the sky is darkest just before the morning (sun) arrives.

p/s:i'm not anti-love and fairy-tale story. I just anti stupid.

Still isnt a perfect situation. 7.01 am

still no title......

2006-08-22T17:10:00.000+08:00

Yesterday was kinda weird. The day Malaysia no. 1 song-bird married with her soulmate, I feel sort of sad not that because she is married, it just in the end we all as it suppose to be are going to marry someone (especially when you the only son and being the eldest!) somekind make me worried aswell as scared (i wonder why i should be scared?). Anyway I was a bit worried as she (Malaysian own no.1 singer as claimed by the media) married with a widow. I just wonder how his future husband family going to accept her as this isnt just an ordinary fairy tale. I just hope her married will last just like in classic tale -happily ever after-. For me, marriage should be forever and as someone who view it as a scared union, i do believe in love that last forever.

Oh speaking bout marriage, one of my fren married already. And she didnt come for her convo.

p/s: today is my 100th day of meet.......... =)
err i lost and dunno wat to write anymore. it seem i lost wat i want to write just now. *sigh*

Doctor Asshole-reedited

2006-08-20T21:46:00.000+08:00

Ok, there something bout so called doctor and medic student behavior that is so annoying, full of themselves and ass hole. Firstly, because they are doctor and medic student so sometime they feel superior and more better than u behaviour. Being an asshole is their specialty, and i think they should have how to behave humbly class in their syllabus! Yup this afternoon i met one of them. ( i'm sorry if i hurt you, just being honest with my feeling) Another one thing is sometimes they r just rude (just like one doctor i met last time)
Anyway the 1st case (with the doctor wannabe fren) is resolve already. No offence taken dear! muahahahaha

Still pain in the ass-signment and test!

again another video

2006-08-20T11:59:00.000+08:00

haha i found another interesting video again. anyway mad-dogs help me with the translation haha. ok here u go. enjoy!

help

2006-08-20T10:42:00.000+08:00

ok i do need some help here.

1. Kyleflozart-it surprise me when i read ur comment because i wonder how on earth u know that i link u? somebody please tell me

2. Joshua- i dunno how to go to ur blog again or more precisely ur url. hahaha

i know this gonna make me sound and look stupid, but i'm lost here. hehe

The star is blind

2006-08-20T08:27:00.000+08:00

Hahaha, i dunno why but i really like this song. yup i know it from paris hilton, still she sing the song well (who cares if she really dumb blonde after all she is and rich too)back to the song, yeah the song really catchy and it made me remind bout my ex mad-dogs! haha this song really indeed remind me of u! haha. really enjoy the song.

or here http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F1jv3kkt0UE

morning rhapsody-again

2006-08-20T08:10:00.000+08:00

it hard to get free internet at this time, so blog time!

wah it 7.30am already, ghosh i didnt aware how fast time pass us by. Just now was the best time to see meteor shower, not tonite perhaps, i forgot to check the time table. the best time to see those shooting stars is during December. On the 18 was among the best day to see it. I wish those shooting stars could bring my wishes, hope it can come true. haha sounds stupid anyway, but as much as i didnt believe it, still i hope each time i say my wishes when it pass by, i do wish it comes true, just like in the movie haha.

Today another more friends going for their convocation, and today also the last day of convo week. next week 2 test will come follow by english presentation. More things to do. *sigh*

oh to all my frens especially , my graduated coursemate, congratulation. Good luck in the working world, wish ya all the best of becoming ur parent assets (joy to the parent knowing that their liabity is their asset now hahaha). Michelle and other Schlumberger peeps, safe journey for ya training! Miss you guyz, dun forget us ah!

pain in the ass-ignment and test!

Diari seorang lelaki

2006-07-31T23:04:00.000+08:00

just now as usual michelle's blog is one of my favourite blog. will put her link here soon. anyway there one malay song that catch my ear. it from local band; Pretty Ugly-

Dari semalam ku tunggu
Fikir kau pulang ke pangkuanku
Ku dengarkan lagu cinta
Pilihan terbaik kita
Ku mainkan CD berulang
Lupakan segala ucapan
Perpisahan yang kau pinta

Benar dikau ku cinta Setiap detik ku puja
Kau sering perhatiku sambil belai rambut mu
tak ingin aku lupa kenangan yang tercipta
belikan aku diari ku tulis setiap hari

(singer and the jazz guitar goes into a high.. bup bup pab pab pab) <---wrote by michelle

Bercinta, berkasih bagai Adam dan Hawa
Bergaduh, selisih buat kita sempurna
Janganlah dipendam, luahkan perasaan
Tiada benci, iri hati itulah destinasi

Again!

Benar dikau ku cinta Setiap detik ku puja
Kau sering perhatiku sambil belai rambut mu
tak ingin aku lupa kenangan yang tercipta
belikan aku diari ku tulis setiap hari

belikan aku diari ku tulis setiap hari
belikan aku diari ku tulis setiap hari

belikan aku diari ku tulis setiap.. haarii..

(jazz guitar solo fades away..)<---wrote by michelle too.

Diari seorang lelaki. The song and the lyric quite nice.

since i cant find the lyric anyway so i just take it from her. She now going her training (as require by her company Schlumberger) perhaps in oslo but somewhere oversea lah.

aiyo cant wait graduate and work with mnc.....

Jewel- Again and again

2006-07-15T20:11:00.000+08:00

geOphySics rOcks!

2006-07-09T02:05:00.000+08:00

Just now i found some of my pic during my 2nd year doing fieldcamp at Pekan, Pahang. It just a a rondom pic though. ah miss miss the old times, but i cant wait to graduate already.

thats it, the last pic were taken in geo lab.

rose ah...

2006-07-07T04:41:00.000+08:00

You Are a White Rose

You represent youthfulness and purity.

Your vibe: Sweet and heavenly

Falling in love with you: is like falling in love for the first time

What Color Rose Are You?

just craping around

2006-07-06T06:29:00.000+08:00

yesterday morning, i was so irritated, i wasnt finish surfing the net, there are whole lots of thing i want to do back then. OMG he turn off his pc, causing the pc that i use dc from internet. pukima cibai lah! so i decided to fill in my boring morning wif a walk. well i plan to do so, but only after i finish surf. damn lah. so i take a walk around my hostel area. on my way, i met this ah mong kia (goodlooking guy) so i hold the lift for him lor, then he said "terima kasih". "so he pick up some local (malay) word" i said in my mind. but i wish i didnt look so pale or the not so nice look of a person that had a sleepless nite infront of him. (and i curi curi tengok at him a bit hahaha). well i wish...... let ur wild imagination imagine hehe

so after finishing the walk (i even imagining my fren and i went to the nearby durian orchard and take the durians. oh i love durian)then i watch the breaksfirst show. it been long time i didnt watch the show.oh dapnhe iking (watever the spelling lah) today turn 28 ( one of the show presenter) and i do agree if she join the miss malaysia world contest. then i finish the tbs at 10.00am. when back to my room, and then sleep. wake up in the evening, play dota 4 awhile then get ready to go to swimm again. p/s i didnt sleep at nite. oh ya on the way to the pool i meet the ah mong kia again haha.

I Love Snoopy

2006-07-04T06:36:00.000+08:00

2006-07-03T15:38:00.000+08:00

I spend quite sometimes before i found any website that had Johann Pachelbel's Canon. And finally i got the link. some songs are not up to my standard and had many versions. but i love this canon. dont you think matt? thanks for playing it for me live. Really appreciate it. Hontoni Arigatou!

http://www.helander.se/stefan/pachelbel/files.shtml

What does matter?

2006-07-03T15:31:00.001+08:00

I got this from a friend....very nice

My father asked if I am gay,
I said, Does it Matter?
He said, No not really,
I Said, Yes
He said, Get out of my house.
I guess it mattered.

My friend asked if I am gay,
I said, Does it matter?
He said, no not really,
I said, Yes,
He said; don't call me your friend.
I guess it mattered.

My boss asked if I am gay,
I said Does it matter?
He said no not really,
I said Yes,
He said, You're fired faggot.
I guess it mattered.

My lover asked if I love him,
I said Does it matter?
He said Yes.
I told him, I love you,
He said, Let me hold you in my arms.
For the first time in my life something matters.

My God asked me, Do you love yourself?
I said Does it matter?
God said, Yes.
I said, How can I love myself? I am gay
God said, This is the way I have made you.
Nothing again will ever matter

2006-06-18T17:23:00.000+08:00